Discipline

I had the privilege to see one of my living heroes speak this week. Henry Rollins has always inspired me with his social consciousness and his willingness to walk the walk and not just do the talk.

This was the second time I have seen him speak and he did not disappoint. He spoke, non-stop, for over two and half hours without a break, water, or interruption. If you know Henry Rollins you know how quickly he speaks. Anyone else presenting the same material would have needed an extra half to full hour to cover it all.

If I were to ignore the inspiration from his words, I still would come away totally inspired by his discipline. Discipline is in my wheelhouse but Henry Rollins’ discipline is on another level.

Living in a province whose mantra is consume, exploit, and take care of only your own, it was invigorating to spend that time with hundreds of other people, all masked no less, who reminded me that there is a lot of good out here.

“Seek freedom and become captive of your desires. Seek discipline and find your liberty.” - Frank Herbert (1920 - 1986)

Thay

My mastery path has been blessed with the leadership and example of many mentors and teachers whose generosity has guided me throughout my life. I revere my lineage and I know my life and accomplishments have been built upon the foundation others have helped me build. It is difficult to not feel the strain on that foundation when I lose one of them.

Thich Nhat Hanh’s influence on the world is well-documented and he has been a big part of my life since I was a teenager. He has prepared me for the day that he would no longer be directly accessible but nevertheless I find myself overwhelmed by the magnitude of the loss.

For the first time in my life I am walking the earth without him in his familiar form. He will always be with me and for that I am grateful. How I miss him.

“If you look deeply into the palm of your hand, you will see your parents and all generations of your ancestors. All of them are alive in this moment. Each is present in your body. You are the continuation of each of these people.” - Thich Nhat Hanh (1926 - 2022)

Connections

The pandemic has lasted longer than anyone expected and I think everyone is suffering from the relentlessness of the situation. As we approach another lunar new year without the likelihood of being able to celebrate together for the second year in a row, I am becoming more aware of how much I rely upon special events to maintain and reconnect with my friends and mentors. 

Yesterday the Canadian Ging Wu celebrated the grand opening of their new location. I had no idea how much I missed connecting with my peers and mentors right up until I arrived at the event. Seeing Sifu Bok Koh, Sifu Ben Mah, Sifu Bill Gee, Sifu Dale Lee, Sifu Michael Yong, and Sifu Brendan Lee reminded me of how important they all are in my life. At a minimum we tend to reconnect at Chinese New Year events every year but it has been two years since any such event has been possible so yesterday’s event really nurtured my soul.

Kung fu has made me who I am and I owe everything in my life to the art. Nothing though is more valuable to me than the connections I have made on this journey.

“Invisible threads are the strongest ties.” - Friedrich Nietzsche (1844 - 1900)

Valentino Rossi

Last week the greatest MotoGP racer on the planet announced that the current racing season would be his last. Nine world titles with seven of them in the highest motorcycle racing class in the world would be enough for him to be considered one of the greatest of all time but there is so much more behind the respect I have for him.

Valentino Rossi approaches his craft as an artist. His creativity and dedication are always on display. The attack lines he utilizes in a race are only slightly different than the lines his rivals’ use but those little differences reflect the gap between finishing first and finishing second.

Valentino Rossi’s mastery of the motorcycle is a major inspiration behind my pursuit of mastery in kung fu. His relentless pursuit of the perfect racing line is a constant reminder for me to keep learning and adapting as I evolve. Just because something is working great for me right now does not mean there is not a better approach that is just a couple of degrees to the left or right from where I currently am.

I am grateful to have been able to follow Valentino Rossi’s MotoGP career for over twenty years. He may be retiring from racing at the end of this season but his inspiration will continue to fuel my training until my days here are over.

“The great fights with your strongest rivals are always the biggest motivation. When you win easily it's not the same taste.” - Valentino Rossi (b. 1979)

Sifu Max Hayes

I think Max Hayes originally became my student because he was investing in his daughters’ kung fu training. He began kung fu with his three daughters, setting an example of excellence that inspired all three of them to earn their own black belts.

His daughters are no longer at home training at SRKF but that has not deterred Max from leading and inspiring other students to earn their black belts. Max sets an example by incorporating mastery into every facet of his life. When he is not actively training or teaching on the mats, he is applying himself at a level ten in everything else he chooses to do. The inspiration he provides is an integral part of my success.

Max Hayes has been part of my life for almost thirty years. First as a student, then a fellow black belt, and now as a trusted friend. Needless to say, his character and leadership are imprinted all over Silent River Kung Fu and for that I am eternally grateful.

"A leader is best when people barely know he exists, when his work is done, his aim fulfilled, they will say: we did it ourselves." - Lau Tzu 

A New World

This past week has been a week filled with change. This week is the first week the world, for me, has existed without my dad in it. I have been preparing for this inevitability for a long time yet somehow I was not prepared when the time came. It is even more difficult today than it was when he died a week ago. 

My dad spent his final year mostly alone. The timing of the pandemic could not have been worse. It is frustrating that a man who spent his entire life in service of others was forced to end his days isolated because so many of us cannot wrap our minds around the concept that freedom comes with responsibility. I am gobsmacked at the irony of him dying alone while others are out enjoying themselves at an illegal rodeo the very same week.

“My father said there were two kinds of people in the world: givers and takers. The takers may eat better, but the givers sleep better.” — Marlo Thomas (b. 1937)

Milestones

My dad turned 90 years old this past week. It seems a little surreal, especially since he has been battling COPD for seven years. Dad was diagnosed the same time that Leonard Nimoy was and Leonard passed away in 2015 a year after his diagnosis. 

Continuing on a Star Trek theme, I found out that William Shatner turned 90 the week before my dad. William Shatner is in a lot better shape than my dad but William Shatner does not suffer from COPD. It does seem weird that Keith Richards seems to just get stronger as the years go by even though he smokes like a chimney. I have always believed my dad would pretty much have lived forever if he hadn’t smoked. I think they were talking about my dad when they came up with the quote: “If I had known I was going to live this long, I would have taken better care of myself.” I don’t know if Keith Richards will outlast my dad but it does seem likely at this point. Heck between Keith Richards and Chuck Norris, the smart money is on Keith Richards.

I haven’t seen my dad in person since last summer. COVID restrictions and the health of my daughter have made it almost impossible to make visitation a reality. We talk on the phone but that is not the same. I would be lying if I said the anti-maskers did not annoy me. If people were to respect the health guidelines set by the medical experts, the pandemic would be behind us and visitor restrictions would be lifted for my dad.

I am thinking this is the last Easter my dad will be alive for. Then again, I have been saying that for five years now so who knows. I just hope I am able to see him in person at least one more time before he moves on.

“Every new beginning comes from another beginning’s end.” - Seneca (54 BC - 39 BC)

Black Belt

Every Chinese New Year I promote students who have earned their black belt. Their grading is, at a minimum, a year-long process and culminates with the promotion of the successful candidates at our annual Chinese New Year Banquet. The pandemic has forced this year’s banquet to the virtual realm but it has not prevented progress and success. I am proud to be promoting four students who have earned the rank of black belt.

What is a black belt? It is not the physical fabric that you tie around your waist. It represents so much more. Everyone who has earned the rank has had a hand in defining it. Earning a black belt is not only an honour, it is a responsibility.

Grand Master Olaf Simon, Grand Master Stan Lee, Grand Master Margitte Hilbig, Grand Master Mark Chan, Master Richard Shergold, Master Brian Macdonald,

Soke Dave McNeill, Master Tom Callos, Master Benjamin Ma — the list of people who have defined the black belt for me is endless. Each one has inspired me on my mastery journey.

I am responsible for endorsing four new people as black belts this year who will now have a hand in defining the black belt from this point on. I trust they will make all of my mentors proud.

“Life is not a brief candle. It is a splendid torch that must be made to burn as brightly as possible before it is handed on to the next generation.” - George Bernard Shaw (1856 - 1950)

Oh the People You Will Meet

The martial arts have given me everything that I hold dear in my life. Kung fu has forged my spirit and made me the person I am today. Of all the benefits the art provides, it is the people it has brought into my life that I value the most. 

I met you for the first time in Greensboro, Alabama in 2008. Our mutual association with Tom Callos brought us together to build a house for a family in need in Hale County. I met a lot of great people because of my association with Tom Callos and the Ultimate Black Belt Test but you are the person who stands out for me.

You exemplify what I value in a martial arts master. There is the undeniable skill and outstanding leadership always on display and then below the surface are the truly exceptional traits that I admire - compassion, kindness, and extraordinary engagement.  I definitely want to be just like you when I grow up.

You have always been generous with your time when it comes to me. From calling me at work to check up on me to having me over for supper when I just happened to be in the neighborhood. I often wonder if you understand what that has meant to me over the years. 

Soke Dave McNeill is turning 80 on Tuesday. In typical Master McNeill fashion, he is celebrating with 800 pushups on Sunday. My students and I will be joining him in his celebration by doing 800 pushups each. Happy Birthday Master McNeill! Thank you for everything you have brought to my life. 

“A teacher affects eternity; he can never tell where his influence stops.” – Henry Brooks Adams (1838 - 1913) 

Mentors

In today’s world, anyone with a keyboard has a platform to fulminate about whatever is on their mind to thousands of people online. Credibility does not factor into their access or their influence. Everyone has unprecedented power without having to accept the encumbrance of responsibility. 

I am blessed to have many mentors in my life. Each has helped me become the person I am today. The best thing I have learned from all of them is that mentors can be found everywhere if you’re always open to new ideas and opportunities. Some of the best lessons I have learned have come from unexpected sources.

The Buddha has said “When the student is ready, the teacher will appear.” However if you are not humble, ready or not, you may not notice the teacher standing right in front of you.

“All streams flow to the sea because it is lower than they are. Humility gives it is power.” - Lao Tzu

When The Student Is Ready

If lessons were reserved for a time when you are ready, the lesson would be on hold indefinitely. Lessons often are beyond your scope. If they are not, they would hold less value. Every lesson should bring with it a tuning of your perspective - an opening of your mind. 

We are limited in our growth until something stimulates us to go beyond our arbitrary limits. Some of the lessons I am mastering today were taught to me thirty plus years ago by Grand Master Simon. I just did not have the insights to process the lesson properly until now. If he would not have taught me the lesson those decades ago, the basics I now possess that allow me to process the lesson completely would be wasted. I needed the point of reference he provided.

When a lesson is given, the only failure possible comes from assuming the lesson is beyond your scope and ignoring it. If you put every lesson into your toolbox, it will be there when your skillset is ready. It is a mistake to discard a tool because you are too impatient to store it for future use. 

 “When the student is ready, the teacher will appear.” - Buddha

Dad

Sunday was Fathers Day but of course with COVID-19 a simple visit is not so simple. My dad has been very isolated since the pandemic began in March. Up to a few weeks ago, visits were not allowed in his care facility so his only connection to his family has been maintained through telephone conversations. Not ideal for a man who is hard of hearing and struggling with his memory.

My visit with dad on Saturday was better than a telephone conversation but only slightly less frustrating. Having to conduct the visit outside while wearing a mask and maintaining two metres distance, made communication less than ideal. We had enough troubles ourselves understanding our muffled voices through the masks but his situation was that much worse without being able to see our faces and being even further away.

I haven’t hugged my dad for over three months. With the pandemic still soldiering on, I am not sure if it is even going to be possible again before his time here with me is over. I’m grateful to have had another Father’s Day with him even though it was less than ideal.

“Lately all my friends are worried they’re turning into their fathers. I’m worried I’m not.” - Dan Zezinho

THE Week

I have not experienced a week like this, ever. In a very short period of time, everything was turned upside down. School had to close its doors so the future remains uncertain. Awash in all this uncertainty, are real people who are impacted more by COVID-19 in a way so much more intensely than I could imagine.

My dad is now isolated in a care home, unable to have outside visitors until this blows over six months or so from now. It is probable that I will not be able to see him again on this earth. He is going to go through his end days lonely and frightened while the rest of the world competes for a roll of toilet paper.

As it has been said before, this crisis may not define us but it most certainly will reveal us.

“Suppose two astronauts go to the moon.  When they arrive, they have an accident and find out that they have only enough oxygen for two days.  There is no hope of someone coming from Earth in time to rescue them.  They have only two days to live.  If you asked them at that moment, ‘What is your deepest wish?’ they would answer, ‘To be back home walking on the beautiful planet Earth.’  That would be enough for them; they would not want anything else.  They would not want to be the head of a large corporation, a big celebrity or president of the United States.  They would not want anything except to be back on Earth—to be walking on Earth, enjoying every step, listening to the sounds of nature and holding the hand of their beloved while contemplating the moon.” - Thich Nhat Hanh (b.1926)

Ripples

Last night at my third Chinese New Year Banquet of the season, I was reminded of something Seth Godin wrote about this week. He was referring to cultural change comes about when we get everyone thinking within the same timeframe. Often, when we do not agree upon things, it is due to the timeframe in which we are viewing an idea. The example he used is that a sophisticated audience sees that there is more to life than the ten or so seconds just in front of them. Mobs, however, only care about how they feel at this very moment. If we get everyone thinking about things within the same timeframe, we may find we are not so different in our values, needs, and wants.

When I began studying kung fu many years ago, I did not have a clue as to the effect the art would have on my life. I was not sophisticated in my approach or understanding. Like mob mentality, I only saw what immediate gratification I could get from expending all the blood and sweat of my training. I spent a lot of time during last night’s festivities humbled by the people I was sharing the night with - people I call my friends, my kung fu brothers. People that I only know because I made a decision to take my first kung fu class almost forty years ago.

My life has been defined by kung fu. Hindsight makes my decision to train such an easy, obvious choice. Yet at the time the choice was made, I did not have a clue about the consequences. It is hard not to be humble when you have to acknowledge that the most important decision you will ever make in your life was not made through any insightful knowledge or guidance. I am truly the luckiest guy on the planet.

“A couple of people I knew went to university apart from me, but all the way through I was the smartest kid in the school. That's luck, but I was proud of it. And I was also proud of doing well without trying. As you get older, and it took me a long time to realise it, that's a disgusting attitude, revolting.” - Ricky Gervais (b. 1961)

So This Just Happened . . . .

I teach my students the importance of recognizing opportunities and getting the most out them when they present themselves . . . .

Thanks to my teacher, Master Brian Macdonald, one of the biggest influences in my kung fu life was Grand Master Stan Lee. Before passing away in 2003, the kindness and generosity he showed me changed my life. In the relatively short time our lives intersected, Grand Master Lee certified my black belt and continued to promote me, giving me a lineage of which I am intensely proud. I was a nobody but he had nothing but time and advice for me. He showed me the true meaning of humility.

Last night I had the unbelievable privilege to have Grand Master Stan’s top student teach at my school. I had always said that Sifu Ben Ma’s Hung Gar is the best I have ever seen. Having him teach at my school was a surreal, mind blowing experience of inspiration. Sifu Ben’s skill in Hung Gar and Tai Chi Mantis at 68 years old is something to behold. Like his Sifu, Grand Master Lee, Sifu Ben is amazingly generous with his time and knowledge.

As last night progressed, I felt an overwhelming sense of gratitude. Even sixteen years after his death, I continue to benefit from Grandmaster Lee’s kindness and generosity. I am so thankful for the opportunities that conspired to have our paths cross so many years ago and which ultimately brought Sifu Ben Ma into my life today.

“Gratitude can transform common days into thanksgivings, turn routine jobs into joy, and change ordinary opportunities into blessings.” - William Arthur Ward (1921 - 1994)

Lost

The first time she touched me, she was using me for a demonstration for her class. She had me throw a punch and hold it up in the air while she simply blocked it with a knife hand and kept the blade of her hand touching my forearm as she explained the technique to her class. This is the most vivid memory I have of her. The power I could feel emanating off of her hand was the most intimidating thing I have ever felt. I stood there and felt like a fool as I lost control and started to giggle. It was not a “this is funny” type of giggle. More like a “I am about to die” nervous giggle. I may have towered over her and was triple her weight, but there was no doubt as to who was in control. I have never felt more helpless.

On December 27th, it will be three years since Master Margitte Hilbig left us. There is not a day that goes by that I don’t mourn the loss. I owe a lot to her generosity and kindness while the experience and knowledge that left with her is unfathomable. I would give anything to have another hour with her.

“Every one of us is losing something precious to us. Lost opportunities, lost possibilities, feelings we can never get back again. That’s part of what it means to be alive.” - Haruki Murakami (b. 1949)

Greta Thunberg

“I have not come to offer prepared remarks at this hearing, I am submitting this report as my testimony because I don’t want you to listen to me. I want you to listen to the scientists. And I want you to unite behind the science. And then I want you to take action.”

While the rest of us argue about the obvious climate crisis, a teenager is showing the world how it should be done with her simple 8 sentence letter to the US Congress. The time for hearings and committees is long past. It is time for action.

“You don’t listen to the science because you are only interested in solutions that will enable you to carry on like before. Like now. And those answers don’t exist any more. Because you did not act in time.” - Greta Thunberg (b. 2003)

My Paragon

Who do you want to be? Usually based upon a paragon of our admiration, we all have a vision of who we want to be. When it comes to becoming a black belt, everyone has an ideal, based upon the best attributes of black belts they admire, that they envision attaining.

Vision and ideals are paramount components of a complete plan but they are not the only requirements for a successful plan. The black belt success cycle teaches us to:
1) Set a goal
2) Have a plan (and success coach)
3) Take consistent action
4) Review your progress
5) Review your goal
Where most people fail is on number three. Taking consistent action is the only way progress is ever made. It is easy fall into a cycle of mediocrity where activity or the passage of time is confused with progress.

Keeping a clear perspective of where you are and where you want to be makes it less likely that perspective will be lost, allowing mediocrity to get a foothold. Clear perspective with consistent action promotes constant incremental growth.

“Our goals can only be reached through a vehicle of a plan, in which we must fervently believe, and upon which we must vigorously act. There is no other route to success.” - Pablo Picasso (1881 - 1973)

Friends

I am sitting in the Denver airport writing this after a whirlwind weekend spent with friends. Yesterday Tom Callos, my friend and mentor, was recognized by the martial arts industry for his legendary contributions over the past few decades. I attended as one of the surprise guests who flew down for this special event. To cap it all off, Tom was also awarded his BJJ Black Belt and he surprised his girlfriend with a marriage proposal. Like I said, a whirlwind.

I owe a lot to kung fu for the incredible friendships I have made over the years. My life would be so different and less vibrant if I had taken another path. I am where I need to be.

“I shall be telling this with a sigh Somewhere ages and ages hence: Two roads diverged in a wood, and I— I took the one less traveled by, And that has made all the difference. “ - Robert Frost (1874 - 1963)

Four Months

Four months. Four months ago I wrote about her and identified how my serendipitous meeting of her in Portland was a defining moment in my life. Four months ago I resolved to foster a closer friendship with her to maximize the opportunity meeting her had given me. Four months later, she is forever gone. Four months. Who would have thought?

Jennifer StJohn was a part of my life for such a short time but I considered her my mentor and friend. Her book ’Ten Zen’ arrived at my house with the most intricate wrapping I had ever seen. Not a single piece of tape was used but the book was wrapped tightly in plain brown paper with a single red ink stamp. It was then bound securely with twine, the elaborate pattern secured by a two knots. Her eye for detail and the intricate care she applied to her efforts were always evident in everything she touched.

Her last text message to me ended with a private joke: “Hey. Stay connected! I enjoy a little Fromage now and then . . .” When we had met in July we exchanged contact information. I had forgotten that my contact contained my title ‘ Grande Fromage of Silent River Kung Fu’ on it. She laughed pretty hard at that and had been using it ever since.

Jennifer was a Master of Tai Chi, she was the founder and chairman of The Fusion Group, and I am grateful for her generosity and the time she spent on me. A fitting tribute to her is the advice and observations she documented on her 60th birthday in 2012 as shared by The Fusion Group:

Mary and Jerry sat with the Doctor… “Don’t get too attached to little Jennifer!” he said, “She hasn’t got a chance of making it to six years old; certainly not to ten! Diabetes is deadly!” That statement permeated and stained our lives. Having now outlived the bastard, I feel a certain assurance in pointing out that Doctors, well-intentioned or not, aren’t always right. This journey hasn’t all been easy or comfortable, but at every moment, living was hands-down better than the alternative! Adversity may be a part of your path too. There may be a lesson in it.

#1 Become Relentlessly Positive! (Your firm intention will straighten the road and smooth the bumps.)

Take your teachers as, and where you find them. Lessons and teachers do not necessarily come when you call. They are everywhere though, if you look for them. Masters choose their own packaging; apart from your comfort or expectation. If you can only learn from someone in just the right body at just the right time and place, wearing just the right robe, from just the right tradition, you may pass by your teacher in the dusty agora.

“I sometimes believed six impossible things before lunch!” — Lewis Carroll (1832-1898)

Believe in something impossible; yourself and your endless success for example… Take risks and “Push It” to and beyond the edge. (This may from time to time, create a mess… So be it… Clean it up and enjoy the new attainment!)

Spend time with the people who make you better, who make you grow! Leave others where they stand.

The world can be a messy place. Lots of things not to like; to be concerned about… Yet, most of those things are far “Beyond Your Control.” Look here, focus on this instant! Brighten the corner where you are! Helping in the here and now, you’ll be surprised at both the opportunities and the far-reaching impact of local effort… Things you do or think here and now, “ripple out” and touch things on the far shore of there and then. You can’t see it immediately, but your intentions impact and shape the future — yours and everyone else’s.

There’s more than one kind of balance sheet for an enterprise. Don’t miss out on the meaning while you’re chasing the money.

Step away from Rightness! There’s always another perspective. Grow yourself a new and more encompassing perspective and laugh at the old you. Apologize! Change your mind… Ideas sufficient to a decade may be inadequate for an entire lifetime. Win/Win is better than Win/Loss.

“Water is fluid, soft, and yielding. But water will wear away rock, which is rigid and cannot yield. As a rule, whatever is fluid and soft will overcome whatever is rigid and hard. This is a wonderful paradox! Therefore, the ancients say: ‘Yield and overcome.’” ―Lao-Tzu (600 B.C.)

Be more like water… Accept, Forgive and Flow.

Life comes in matched sets of opposites: Yin/Yang… Respect, embrace, understand and build bridges to connect and unite these polar opposites. It’s not an “Either/Or” decision or an either/or world, no matter how it might appear to the contrary. Bridge-building results in the burst of energy, excitement and commitment which will provide you with the most significant power source in creation.

Acquiring lessons, experiences and people is more fun than acquiring stuff…Stuff is fine, but people… priceless! (Satisfying the “self” is not ultimately satisfying.)

Politics (and politicians) are unsatisfying. There are so many people and so many points of view. Getting into it, you may find yourself repelled by the sheer selfish, greedy, sneaky underhandedness of it all. It’s enough to make you swear off, or worse, become a sour armchair pundit… But if you fail to get involved, you may be surprised when they come for you in the night! “It’s not good, but it’s the best we have.” ―Winston Churchill (1874 – 1965)

Keep going into what scares you — into what hurts. Take the counsel of your fears; penetrate and conquer them! (See #1)

In the absence of a robust, personal spiritual practice, one is left with “Drive-Thru Religion,” whether Church, Science or Dogma — shortcuts — which are inherently less personally satisfying than honest, sustained, soulful individual enquiry. True religious practice is lived and demonstrated first in a personal way. The great spiritual traditions of India and China may have much to teach us in this. Do the individual work required to truly discover who and what you are.

“It’s very different because the Indians live as if they are their souls and Americans live as if they are their egos.” ― Ram Dass (1931 – )

Did I mention Love?!

There is evil in the world. Not just criminals. Could be a cheating spouse, a family member who hates you, a trusted but nefarious advisor, a political leader or a business person — even a long-term client. It can come at you head on; but more often from behind and where you do not expect it… Confronting evil is a test of fortitude. Because evil is sometimes obvious and as common as air. Goodness is conversely, rare, special and often unique. So, do not despair but become a connoisseur of goodness. Seek it out and celebrate it to give people a living example of how it ought to be. (Refer to #1)

Become aware of what you consume, and what you put out. Be scrupulous about what you consume and what you exude. Love and respect in; love and respect out!

We’re all unique and special … just like everyone else! So, treat everyone the same. Your spouse like your best client. Your children like your best friend. Your worst enemy like your respected uncle. Patient interested listening. Waiting for the moment of real connection.

Be endlessly interested — care more about how it is, than about how it appears…

Conclusion: Forgive that Doctor, the arrogant Lawyer, the self-impressed IT people and Holier than Thou Religious Practitioners, alone in their gilded Temples… Let them live, in all their purple humanity… Salute and embrace the heartbeat of living, breathing earthly divinity in everyone. There’s only one way to treat people: Love.

Life is the best possible gig! This very moment is a gift, a divine privilege! Soak it in, enjoy it and leave nothing in the cup!
Till I see you again…

• Jennifer StJohn (1952 - 2018)