Positive Cycles

Something I wrote for a student struggling to find the time to train . . . 

Everyday we are all faced with decisions. Sometimes success is only a positive decision away. It is a lot easier to make a positive decision when you have clarity in your goals. Why are you studying kung fu? Obviously you have spent years practicing it for a reason. If that reason is empowerment, then you already know that there are benefits to all aspects of your life when you train in kung fu. If your training is benefitting all aspects of your life, how can cutting kung fu to focus on other aspects of your life even make sense? 

You have separated your kung fu from your life to the point where it may have already just become yet another stressor. If your training is relegated to "When I have time", there really is no future in the art for you until that perspective/priority changes.

Think about your diet. Very few of us eat clean. We rush about our day sometimes only feeding ourselves with what is handy and convenient instead of mindfully consuming food that nurtures us. Yet when we consistently clean up our diet, we feel the immediate benefits - clarity of thought and reduction of stress. Those benefits give us more time to mindfully prepare our future meals. The cycle has now become self-perpetuating - in a positive way.

At the same time, it does not take much to let things slide. A day here and a day there where, in a weak moment, we let down our guard and eat something we know is not good for us but it is more convenient. Our clarity begins to erode and is not so clear, our thoughts not so efficient, and our stress begins to build. Once again this cycle now becomes self-perpetuating - in a negative way.

If you want to stay on a positive cycle, STAY ON A POSITIVE CYCLE! It really is that simple. If you want to get on a positive cycle, GET ON A POSITIVE CYCLE! That too is really that simple. There is no magic to earning a black belt. Train. If you do not want to train? Train! Positive cycles do not just randomly start. You need to make the correct decisions - one at a time, every time.

“Yesterday is not ours to recover, but tomorrow is ours to win or lose.” - Lyndon B. Johnson (1908 - 1973)

Avoidance and Engagment

Disciplining yourself over the long term to achieve your goals is never easy. There are always motivational traps eroding away at your resolve and affecting your self-talk.

I have been through a lot in my lifetime when it comes to my training. I think I have tried every shortcut I could think of when it comes to kung fu; only to face the ultimately reality that I had wasted more time trying to save time. There are no shortcuts to mastery.

My experience has given me a lot of empathy for my students and what they face. Mastery is not an easy journey. The self doubt, the negative self-talk, the long hours - everything seems to be against you.

The common response to the overwhelming magnitude of the mastery journey is withdrawal and avoidance. We avoid thinking about the positives and withdraw from engaging ourselves in the very activities that we know to be beneficial. Our negative self-talk convinces us that the value of what we seek is not worth the investment of our time and sweat.

When we are going through difficult times we tend to disengage - the exact opposite strategy we should be using. Not avoiding but rather pushing ourselves to engage has a positive snowball effect on our attitude. Our perspective clears and clarity returns to our vision and our thoughts. Unfortunately, that is easier said than done.

I am extremely passionate about kung fu because it has changed my life. Everything I have is due to kung fu. I know it will change the life of anyone who embraces the art and I have dedicated the last thirty years to help people realize their potential.

Unfortunately I can only do so much. Being eager to help is only part of the solution. Engagement is necessary to access help.

“He was a self-made man who owed his lack of success to nobody.” - Joseph Heller (1923 - 1999)

Obstacle and Ladders

Every limitation and every challenge I have ever had to deal with in my life started out as an obstacle. Torn cartilage in my knee limited my hockey career and continues to impact my kung fu. Coming from a poor family limited my opportunities and created barriers not being experienced by other children. There is not doubt that on the playing field of life, all things are not equal.

When I started kung fu, I was known for my fast, flexible kicks. Even my instructors had to be careful when they sparred with me. My kicks were quick and my most powerful weapons. Then, somewhere between yellow belt and orange belt, reconstruction of my right knee was required to repair a massive tear and subsequent joint damage. I went from the guy who almost exclusively could rely upon his kicks to defeat any opponent to a guy who could not kick meaningfully again for almost eighteen months. Through the eyes of resentment, my kung fu had been completely wiped out. My best weapon was taken away from me and I was set adrift. Today, over thirty years and four more knee surgeries and another reconstruction later, I only see the injury through the eyes of gratitude. 

The path I was on and unwilling to venture off of, was the path of a one-dimensional martial artist. Who needs to work on his hand techniques when his leg techniques are easily taking care of business? Well the guy who just had his legs taken away from him for the next year and a half, that’s who. In those eighteen kickless months I worked hard on my forms and I worked hard on my hands. When I emerged from the other end of that first reconstruction, I was a more complete and well-rounded martial artist. Yes I lost something but I also gained something.  Something wonderful. Something that changed my life. 



Today I am reaping in the benefits of my wonky knees. I earned my black belt because of my bad knees. I met my wife because of my bad knees. Everything I have can be traced and tied to my bad knees. One could argue that I might have been able to earn my black belt without having bad knees but that is not something I even think about. I like where I am and I like who I am. I am the sum of all my experiences and decisions. Changing anything in my past would put everything I currently have in jeopardy. I have nothing but gratitude for my knees and their limitations. For without them, I would not be who I am today. 



Nothing in life is for free. Everything we are and everything we achieve is because of the decisions we make and the actions we take. I can choose to take the path of resentment or I can choose to boldly proceed forward. The bottom line is, I always have a choice. 

“Be miserable. Or motivate yourself. Whatever has to be done, it’s always your choice.” - Wayne Dyer (1940 - 2015) 

Valentino Rossi

Last week the greatest MotoGP racer on the planet announced that the current racing season would be his last. Nine world titles with seven of them in the highest motorcycle racing class in the world would be enough for him to be considered one of the greatest of all time but there is so much more behind the respect I have for him.

Valentino Rossi approaches his craft as an artist. His creativity and dedication are always on display. The attack lines he utilizes in a race are only slightly different than the lines his rivals’ use but those little differences reflect the gap between finishing first and finishing second.

Valentino Rossi’s mastery of the motorcycle is a major inspiration behind my pursuit of mastery in kung fu. His relentless pursuit of the perfect racing line is a constant reminder for me to keep learning and adapting as I evolve. Just because something is working great for me right now does not mean there is not a better approach that is just a couple of degrees to the left or right from where I currently am.

I am grateful to have been able to follow Valentino Rossi’s MotoGP career for over twenty years. He may be retiring from racing at the end of this season but his inspiration will continue to fuel my training until my days here are over.

“The great fights with your strongest rivals are always the biggest motivation. When you win easily it's not the same taste.” - Valentino Rossi (b. 1979)

Positive Action

A lot of people are struggling with motivation right now. Yes the pandemic has intensified a lot of issues for a lot of people, but these motivational issues have always been here and will always be here until they are dealt with.

Motivation is a chicken or egg proposition. It is a matter of changing your attitude so that you can take action to change your situation. Sometimes though, taking action will initiate the change in attitude that you are looking for. This is why I tell my students that if they do not feel like training, they need to train. This strategy is foolproof and it always works IF it is applied consistently. Always apply the strategy and it will always work. Only apply the strategy some of the time and it will only work some of the time.

Practice breeds competence and competence breeds confidence. Nothing changes a negative attitude faster than confidence. Never underestimate the power of positive action.

“Sometimes your joy is the source of your smile, but sometimes your smile can be the source of your joy.” - Thich Nhat Hanh (b. 1926)

Dedication

Over the years I know a few of my friends have made comments about how much of my life I dedicate to kung fu. For the longest time I did not even think about what they were saying nor did I delve for any deeper insight. I think, at those particular times, I agreed with them and left things at that. Kung fu has always been an investment and, like any investment, a return is expected. If the return justifies the investment the decision is a no-brainer.

Now older and wiser, I realize how far off the mark those comments are. In fact they are 180 degrees out of phase with my reality. I do not dedicate my life to my kung fu, I dedicate my kung fu to my life. Everything I do and everything I have — I can see kung fu’s influence.

I may encourage my students to take their kung fu out of the kwoon and into the world but inevitably it goes beyond that. My life is my kwoon.

“Our teachers did not give us a clear explanation of the kata from old times. I must find the features and meaning of each form by my own study and effort, by repeating the exercises of form through training.” – Tsuyoshi Chitose (1898 - 1984)

Optimism

The difference between being an optimist or a pessimist is just a shift of perspective. Turning the perspective wheel only a few degrees can significantly change your interpretation of things.

We all have the ability to change our perspective by leaving dogma behind and opening our mind to new ideas. Therefore optimism is largely a personal choice. Polly Positive or Nancy Negative - who are you choosing to be?

Taking control of a situation begins by accepting responsibility for the situation. Every challenge brings opportunity. Change is inevitable so how you embrace and accept that change determines how many degrees your perspective wheel is going to turn, and what direction it is going to turn to.

Responsibility can be daunting but, despite that, it is liberating.

“My optimism wears heavy boots and is loud.” - Henry Rollins (b. 1961)

 

Mastery Again

Mastery is an all or nothing thing. Either you are on the path or you are off the path. There is no final destination, only the path. There are no deadlines, nor is procrastination possible, on the mastery path.

If you are waiting for a date before applying yourself; if you are putting off work until the planets better align, you are in the clutches of mediocrity. Sometimes the difference between mediocrity and mastery can be just a matter of recognizing where you are and what you are doing.

“Do every act of your life as though it were the very last act of your life.” - Marcus Aurelius (121 AD - 180 AD)

Culture Shift

Our species has been living beyond its means ever since wealth became the priority. We’re willing to sacrifice tomorrow to make a buck today. We’re okay with destroying anything that gets in the way of economic growth.

COVID-19 has proven that we can implement massive changes in very little time when circumstances force the change upon us. Changes that were impossible for many to conceive being possible in their lifetime became normalized after only 90 days.

Don’t let inertia rule your life. Change is not the problem - motivation is.

“People often say that motivation doesn’t last. Well, neither does bathing - that’s why we recommend it daily.” - Zig Ziglar (1926 - 2012)

Epilogue

Kung fu is a transformative discipline that empowers and inspires. Silent River Kung Fu is unique in the martial arts community for providing evidenced-based outcomes. The benefits are obvious to anyone who has had the opportunity to experience the art directly themselves or indirectly through a family member, yet only a fraction of practitioners ever go on to earn their black belt. The probability of success is increased if certain basic facts are respected:

• Behind every successful person are countless mentors and positive influences. Share and use your time wisely.
• Children do not have the life experience required to make positive decisions. Given the opportunity, most children would quit school at an early age if allowed to make such a decision. No matter the activity, once quitting becomes an option for a child, it almost invariably becomes the decision. If you do not want your children to learn to be quitters, approach their kung fu like you approach their scholastic education — take the decision out of their hands and stay actively involved in helping them deal with motivational traps, obstacles, and setbacks. 
• It is harder to develop positive habits than it is to maintain them. Work hard to create positive habits that serve your goals and those habits will become effortless effort. Take consistent action!
• Respect the law of incremental progression. Many small things add up to big things.
• The only constant in life is change. Remain mindful of this and proceed boldly.
• Every moment is an opportunity to begin anew. Every success is built upon countless failures. If you want to succeed — double your failure rate.
• Remember: a black belt is just a white belt who never quit. 

"If you quit ONCE it becomes a habit.Never quit!!!" - Michael Jordan (b. 1963)

So This Just Happened . . . .

I teach my students the importance of recognizing opportunities and getting the most out them when they present themselves . . . .

Thanks to my teacher, Master Brian Macdonald, one of the biggest influences in my kung fu life was Grand Master Stan Lee. Before passing away in 2003, the kindness and generosity he showed me changed my life. In the relatively short time our lives intersected, Grand Master Lee certified my black belt and continued to promote me, giving me a lineage of which I am intensely proud. I was a nobody but he had nothing but time and advice for me. He showed me the true meaning of humility.

Last night I had the unbelievable privilege to have Grand Master Stan’s top student teach at my school. I had always said that Sifu Ben Ma’s Hung Gar is the best I have ever seen. Having him teach at my school was a surreal, mind blowing experience of inspiration. Sifu Ben’s skill in Hung Gar and Tai Chi Mantis at 68 years old is something to behold. Like his Sifu, Grand Master Lee, Sifu Ben is amazingly generous with his time and knowledge.

As last night progressed, I felt an overwhelming sense of gratitude. Even sixteen years after his death, I continue to benefit from Grandmaster Lee’s kindness and generosity. I am so thankful for the opportunities that conspired to have our paths cross so many years ago and which ultimately brought Sifu Ben Ma into my life today.

“Gratitude can transform common days into thanksgivings, turn routine jobs into joy, and change ordinary opportunities into blessings.” - William Arthur Ward (1921 - 1994)

What Defines Me

This week CBC Radio ran a story about the The Ground Floor Choir. This is a choir that will take anyone, whether you can sing or not. Many of the people in the choir are disabled. An aha moment for me occurred when one of the participants, a senior with cerebral palsy, stated that she won’t let her disability define her. What a perfect attitude.

This got me thinking about myself and what it is that defines me. I think anyone who grew up with me or who currently trains with me would vouch for my bad knees as big defining factors. Yes my kung fu also defines me but my kung fu itself is defined by my bad knees. Do I really want to be the guy known for his bad knees? How did I let this happen? Five surgeries, custom braces, chronic limp - yeah that definition is pretty legit, but I used to be known as a fierce fighter, a decent forms competitor, and a guy who could really handle a spear. Now I am the guy with the bad knees.

My mastery journey has to address this. I have and always will have bad knees, but I do not have to let them define me.

“You come up against challenges in life, and it’s how you deal with them that defines you. - Harry Kane (b. 1993)

Slippery Slope

Future success is a product of what we do with past failures and the prevailing attitude that we carry forward from those failures. In reality, failure is only final if we quit trying. As long as effort is still being applied forward, failure is valuable experience. Once effort ceases, failure becomes absolute.

We make promises everyday. These promises are based upon our best intentions, but the problem that comes into play is - they are not always based upon our track record.

The issue we create for ourselves is that once we start breaking promises, it can be difficult to recognize when we are making emotional decisions and commitments that we are ill-equipped to follow through on. It does not take much before breaking promises becomes normalized, as do failure and mediocrity.

It is a slippery slope to travel once we neglect our commitments and promises.

“Commitment is an act, not a word.” - Jean-Paul Sartre (1905 - 1980)

Choices

What makes me want to get up and go in the mornings? I had someone ask me that question this week. It took no effort or thought to answer. "Because I see opportunity in every moment of every day. I remind myself of all the chance meetings and experiences that have happened to me and have defined me. They were not planned nor were they expected. They happened because I created the opportunity for myself by getting up and choosing to engage." 

Choice is something available to everyone. Success is a whole lot easier when you recognize the choices that are available and the power that resides in making the correct choice. I can choose to engage or I can choose to withdraw. I can choose to see opportunity in a challenge over an excuse to quit. I can choose to interpret honest comment as assistance instead of a personal affront. I can choose to self talk positively instead of negatively. I can choose mindful action over unconscious distraction. I can choose to carry on or I can choose to quit.

Choices resonate for a lifetime. Choices define us.

"Our lives are a sum total of the choices we have made." - Wayne Dyer (1940 - 2015) Journal

Appreciation and Respect

One of my most vivid memories of Grand Master Margie Hilbig was of an incident that happened over twenty years ago while I was training at Margie’s school at the Edmonton City Police Headquarters. A group of us black belts were off training on our own to one side of the gymnasium while Margie was teaching her group of queue belts on the other side of the gym. Class was going fine until I heard Margie screaming “I DON’T NEED YOU! YOU NEED ME!” With that, she stormed out of the gymnasium. You could have heard a pin drop when the door shut behind Margie. We were all speechless. Those who recovered first from the shock began looking for a backup exit. No one wanted to face Margie’s wrath.

I have no idea what transgression had taken place to warrant such a response from Margie. For decades I could not imagine being able to think, let alone say, what Margie screamed to her queue belts that day. This week that all changed.

Margie is gone. The knowledge that was lost with her is still unfathomable to me. I now understand where Margie was coming from that day. Art cannot be passed down through books or videos. It can only be passed from person to person. With Margie’s passing, I can no longer look to her for knowledge. I feel the burden of responsibility is on me that more intensely - I need to get more of my knowledge passed down to my own students. That task is almost impossible without appreciation and respect.

“The greatest humiliation in life is to work hard on something from which you expect great appreciation, and then fail to get it.” E.W. Howe (1853 - 1937)

Ticking Away the Moments That Make Up a Dull Day

Typical 6 Month Mastery Plan = 2 hours practice/week = 52 hours total practice.

Therefore if you start practicing non-stop at 6am Monday morning, all the practice you will be applying to your plan will be finished by 10am Wednesday morning. If you apply the same plan for a year, your non-stop practice plan will be complete by Friday at 2pm.

Bottom line, your mastery plan should not be about deadlines. A good plan is about sustainable structure. After all the value is in the journey, not the destination, and mastery is a process, not a program.

“Every year is getting shorter never seem to find the time. Plans that either come to naught or half a page of scribbled lines” - Roger Waters (b. 1943)

Empathy and Leadership

Kung fu is all about empowerment. It is about taking responsibility for where you are and how you got there. Taking that level of control of your life allows you to choose your influences and to build the world you wish to be a part of. In fact, one of the most common statements I hear coming from the parents of prospective students is, “I want my child to be a leader, not a follower.”

Getting people engaged in fundraising is a challenge. People are more likely to write a cheque than they are to inspire others to contribute. It’s easier to throw money at an issue than it is to properly address that same issue. Yet when it comes to kung fu and personal empowerment, as a teacher I have no greater tool to teach empathy and leadership than SRKF’s Pandamonium fundraiser.

Engaging with SRKF’s Pandamonium means learning what it is like to go a week without a single complete meal. It means being aware that there are people, not so different than us, who require extraordinary assistance to complete the most basic of tasks that the rest of us take for granted. The Pandamonium helps teach us all about the concept of inter-being. Educating a girl in Malawi can solve many socio-economic problems that plague the world. Learning about the ecological collapse that can happen in the wake of harming the efficacy of a keystone species can shift paradigms surrounding unsustainable development. So much more can be learned through active engagement than just writing a cheque.

Silent River Kung Fu’s 24 hour Pandamonium is set to go on May 14. Please consider sponsoring a few minutes of the event so that we can learn more about the world we live in while helping those less fortunate than ourselves.

“No one cares how much you know, until they know how much you care.” - Theodore Roosevelt (1858 - 1919)

Tiger Challenge

To a martial arts student a tournament can be an important, even career-changing, experience. But it is not the competition itself where all the benefit is found. The real value resides in the preparation. Having a goal with a deadline is often just what a training regime requires for focus and a sense of purpose.

Our annual Tiger Challenge Tournament is once again behind us. We’ve had bigger tournaments but I don’t think we’ve had one better. For an event that no matter how well prepared we are going in, last minute registrations and dropouts always throw in an unhealthy dose of stress the day of. Yet despite all the uncertainty, all the events went almost exactly at their estimated start times and the tournament finished exactly when predicted. That is a tribute to Sifu Csillag, the I Ho Chuan Team, and all the SRKF Black Belts who volunteered their time and expertise to make the tournament a success.

Thank you to everyone who made our Tiger Challenge a success this year. All the tournament proceeds will be donated to charity.

“Before anything else, preparation is the key to success.” - Alexander Graham Bell (1847 - 1922)

Easy Way

I’ve heard it said that success is a choice, it is not a coin flip. I think about that when I consider the odds of anyone starting kung fu and going on to earn a black belt. The statistical odds of achieving black belt rank are very low. The actual number varies depending upon the sample group and survey parameters but the range typically comes in at between 0.5% and 2%. While these odds may bolster the ego of those who achieve the rank, they are pretty discouraging for those just starting out.

I see a couple of problems with those statistics. First, in my opinion, the statistical analysis should not be comparing the numbers of those who begin training to those who achieve black belt but rather the number of those who begin training to those who do not quit. Every school and every style have their own grading parameters and the different standards are reflected by the range in the various study results. Since black belt is not the end but rather another beginning, the results would be more meaningful and applicable across all schools and styles if they reflected the ratio of those starting to those still training. That would definitely bring the percentage even lower and be more reflective of a common problem within the martial arts: most people do not understand what a black belt means. If everyone did you would see the success ratio rise substantially and you would see fewer non-training black belts.

The second problem with the results of the published statistics is that they imply that success is based upon more than a personal choice. It isn’t. Black belt rank is a 50/50 probability. Either you choose to achieve it or you choose not to. Either you are going to make it priority and invest the time and effort required or you will choose not to. It is always a choice. If you don’t believe me, compare the number of 8 year olds who quit school to the number of 16 year olds who quit school. Failure rate goes up with the freedom to make a personal choice.

Choosing the easy way is, well, easy. A person can convince themselves a hundred different ways into a decision, especially when one prioritizes wants over needs. I know of no one who did not realize a benefit when they applied themselves to their kung fu. You would think that type of guaranteed return on investment would pretty much ensure that everyone who began training would end up achieving a black belt. Unfortunately it is easier to choose to quit than it is to keep on going.

Many may disagree with my assessment but I hope a few are inspired by the logic it contains. Success is a matter of personal choice.

“If there is anything in your life that is not the way you want it to be, you and only you are responsible for changing it. You must believe that it is up to you to create solutions to the challenges of life. Whether they are big or small, you’re still responsible. Each time you give an excuse, you diminish your respect, your credibility, and your integrity. Each time you make an excuse, you reinforce your propensity to make even more excuses in the future, and excuse making becomes a habit.” - Tommy Newberry

Meditations

It has been a long time coming but I have finally got around to reading Meditations by Marcus Aurelius. Aurelius was the last of what Machiavelli coined “The Five Good Emperors”.  Marcus Aurelius never meant for his writings to be published or read by any other. His writings were private journals meant for his eyes only. I have always been fascinated with the miracle that his writings have survived this long. They were written on ancient papyrus, and here I am today, reading them on my iPad. I wonder what the Roman Emperor would think of that?

He may have ruled ancient Rome two thousand years ago but I find the problems we face today are virtually identical to the problems and moral dilemmas that Marcus Aurelius faced so long ago. Environmental issues, social injustice, conspicuous consumption — two millennia later and we seem to have made little progress on issues that continue to plague mankind.

Meditations is a humbling and inspiring read. A two thousand year old message of simplicity, compassion, accountability, and mindful living. An important message indeed.

“Very little is needed to make a happy life; it is all within yourself, in your way of thinking." 

“It is not death that a man should fear, but he should fear never beginning to live.”

“The universe is change; our life is what our thoughts make it.”

“Accept the things to which fate binds you, and love the people with whom fate brings you together, but do so with all your heart.”

“You have power over your mind - not outside events. Realize this, and you will find strength.”

“Waste no more time arguing about what a good man should be. Be one.” 

“Everything we hear is an opinion, not a fact. Everything we see is a perspective, not the truth.” 

“When you arise in the morning, think of what a precious privilege it is to be alive - to breathe, to think, to enjoy, to love.” 

“The soul becomes dyed with the colour of its thoughts.” 

“If it is not right do not do it; if it is not true do not say it.” 

 - Marcus Aurelius (121 - 180)