Connect the Dots!

“Thank you for everything you have done for my child. When he started kung fu, he was struggling to get along with his school mates, and his marks at school were atrocious. Not anymore. You have made our son into a focused and confident boy. Thank you. Unfortunately he wants to try something new so this will be his last month in kung fu. Again, thank you for all you have done for him.”

The absurdity of the above quote is something I have to deal with on a continuous basis. It is on par of waiting to start kung fu until you first get into better shape. Do people really not hear how incongruous their words are while they are saying them?

When I was in grade four, I tried to quit school around fifty times that year. I absolutely hated everything about school at that time.  Why didn’t my mom and dad let me quit? Exactly. So why the heck are some parents allowing their child to make a decision that is a decision only a parent has the wisdom to make?

Opportunities are not complicated. Take advantage of them and you benefit. Ignore or walk away from them and you don’t. Nothing is for free. Kung fu is like weight lifting. If you lift weights your whole life and then decide to stop, you do not get to keep the muscles you gained through weight lifting. The muscles will disappear. The same goes for the benefits from kung fu. If you want to keep those benefits, you have to keep training.  Again, nothing is for free.

“Wisdom consists of the anticipation of consequences.” - Norman Cousins (1915 - 1990)

Four Months

Four months. Four months ago I wrote about her and identified how my serendipitous meeting of her in Portland was a defining moment in my life. Four months ago I resolved to foster a closer friendship with her to maximize the opportunity meeting her had given me. Four months later, she is forever gone. Four months. Who would have thought?

Jennifer StJohn was a part of my life for such a short time but I considered her my mentor and friend. Her book ’Ten Zen’ arrived at my house with the most intricate wrapping I had ever seen. Not a single piece of tape was used but the book was wrapped tightly in plain brown paper with a single red ink stamp. It was then bound securely with twine, the elaborate pattern secured by a two knots. Her eye for detail and the intricate care she applied to her efforts were always evident in everything she touched.

Her last text message to me ended with a private joke: “Hey. Stay connected! I enjoy a little Fromage now and then . . .” When we had met in July we exchanged contact information. I had forgotten that my contact contained my title ‘ Grande Fromage of Silent River Kung Fu’ on it. She laughed pretty hard at that and had been using it ever since.

Jennifer was a Master of Tai Chi, she was the founder and chairman of The Fusion Group, and I am grateful for her generosity and the time she spent on me. A fitting tribute to her is the advice and observations she documented on her 60th birthday in 2012 as shared by The Fusion Group:

Mary and Jerry sat with the Doctor… “Don’t get too attached to little Jennifer!” he said, “She hasn’t got a chance of making it to six years old; certainly not to ten! Diabetes is deadly!” That statement permeated and stained our lives. Having now outlived the bastard, I feel a certain assurance in pointing out that Doctors, well-intentioned or not, aren’t always right. This journey hasn’t all been easy or comfortable, but at every moment, living was hands-down better than the alternative! Adversity may be a part of your path too. There may be a lesson in it.

#1 Become Relentlessly Positive! (Your firm intention will straighten the road and smooth the bumps.)

Take your teachers as, and where you find them. Lessons and teachers do not necessarily come when you call. They are everywhere though, if you look for them. Masters choose their own packaging; apart from your comfort or expectation. If you can only learn from someone in just the right body at just the right time and place, wearing just the right robe, from just the right tradition, you may pass by your teacher in the dusty agora.

“I sometimes believed six impossible things before lunch!” — Lewis Carroll (1832-1898)

Believe in something impossible; yourself and your endless success for example… Take risks and “Push It” to and beyond the edge. (This may from time to time, create a mess… So be it… Clean it up and enjoy the new attainment!)

Spend time with the people who make you better, who make you grow! Leave others where they stand.

The world can be a messy place. Lots of things not to like; to be concerned about… Yet, most of those things are far “Beyond Your Control.” Look here, focus on this instant! Brighten the corner where you are! Helping in the here and now, you’ll be surprised at both the opportunities and the far-reaching impact of local effort… Things you do or think here and now, “ripple out” and touch things on the far shore of there and then. You can’t see it immediately, but your intentions impact and shape the future — yours and everyone else’s.

There’s more than one kind of balance sheet for an enterprise. Don’t miss out on the meaning while you’re chasing the money.

Step away from Rightness! There’s always another perspective. Grow yourself a new and more encompassing perspective and laugh at the old you. Apologize! Change your mind… Ideas sufficient to a decade may be inadequate for an entire lifetime. Win/Win is better than Win/Loss.

“Water is fluid, soft, and yielding. But water will wear away rock, which is rigid and cannot yield. As a rule, whatever is fluid and soft will overcome whatever is rigid and hard. This is a wonderful paradox! Therefore, the ancients say: ‘Yield and overcome.’” ―Lao-Tzu (600 B.C.)

Be more like water… Accept, Forgive and Flow.

Life comes in matched sets of opposites: Yin/Yang… Respect, embrace, understand and build bridges to connect and unite these polar opposites. It’s not an “Either/Or” decision or an either/or world, no matter how it might appear to the contrary. Bridge-building results in the burst of energy, excitement and commitment which will provide you with the most significant power source in creation.

Acquiring lessons, experiences and people is more fun than acquiring stuff…Stuff is fine, but people… priceless! (Satisfying the “self” is not ultimately satisfying.)

Politics (and politicians) are unsatisfying. There are so many people and so many points of view. Getting into it, you may find yourself repelled by the sheer selfish, greedy, sneaky underhandedness of it all. It’s enough to make you swear off, or worse, become a sour armchair pundit… But if you fail to get involved, you may be surprised when they come for you in the night! “It’s not good, but it’s the best we have.” ―Winston Churchill (1874 – 1965)

Keep going into what scares you — into what hurts. Take the counsel of your fears; penetrate and conquer them! (See #1)

In the absence of a robust, personal spiritual practice, one is left with “Drive-Thru Religion,” whether Church, Science or Dogma — shortcuts — which are inherently less personally satisfying than honest, sustained, soulful individual enquiry. True religious practice is lived and demonstrated first in a personal way. The great spiritual traditions of India and China may have much to teach us in this. Do the individual work required to truly discover who and what you are.

“It’s very different because the Indians live as if they are their souls and Americans live as if they are their egos.” ― Ram Dass (1931 – )

Did I mention Love?!

There is evil in the world. Not just criminals. Could be a cheating spouse, a family member who hates you, a trusted but nefarious advisor, a political leader or a business person — even a long-term client. It can come at you head on; but more often from behind and where you do not expect it… Confronting evil is a test of fortitude. Because evil is sometimes obvious and as common as air. Goodness is conversely, rare, special and often unique. So, do not despair but become a connoisseur of goodness. Seek it out and celebrate it to give people a living example of how it ought to be. (Refer to #1)

Become aware of what you consume, and what you put out. Be scrupulous about what you consume and what you exude. Love and respect in; love and respect out!

We’re all unique and special … just like everyone else! So, treat everyone the same. Your spouse like your best client. Your children like your best friend. Your worst enemy like your respected uncle. Patient interested listening. Waiting for the moment of real connection.

Be endlessly interested — care more about how it is, than about how it appears…

Conclusion: Forgive that Doctor, the arrogant Lawyer, the self-impressed IT people and Holier than Thou Religious Practitioners, alone in their gilded Temples… Let them live, in all their purple humanity… Salute and embrace the heartbeat of living, breathing earthly divinity in everyone. There’s only one way to treat people: Love.

Life is the best possible gig! This very moment is a gift, a divine privilege! Soak it in, enjoy it and leave nothing in the cup!
Till I see you again…

• Jennifer StJohn (1952 - 2018)

Thunk

You can invest a bunch of money to increase awareness about hunger, poverty, and the general abstractions that most global problems fester behind, but like any investment, payoff is never an absolute guarantee.

I can’t think of a more mindless act than wasting food. We have so much while so many do not even have enough to live. The mindless waste and greed from last night, for me, bordered on obscene. I say mindless because it was good people who were generating all the waste. There was nothing nefarious about their intent, just zero awareness or thought about the consequence of their own actions. They were completely oblivious of the impact their mindless actions were having on, not just people in obvious less fortunate circumstances than their own, but on people in the very same buffet line as themselves. The difficult part for me to resolve and process is that I had hosted the event to help combat the conspicuous consumption so many of my guests were so mindlessly displaying.

Last night’s audible splat of my best intentions and efforts to make a difference on the mindfulness front failing miserably could not derail the celebration of three new black belts entering the Silent River Kung fu fold. Sifus Hannah Meier, Simon Kohut, and Andrew Meier are three of the finest candidates I have ever promoted. I am proud of the example they have set for everyone. Also congratulations go out to Sifu Lisa Freitag and Sifu Kim Macdonald for their promotions to 6th degree and 2nd degree respectively and Sifu Brenda Stoddart who not only was promoted to fourth degree black belt but who was also awarded Black Belt of the Year. Lastly, we have not had a finer recipient of the Travis Panasiuk Memorial Award than Jackie Kohut. Jackie’s accomplishments and leadership this year gave little doubt of her earning the title of Student of the Year for 2018.

“If you really want to do something, you’ll find a way. If you don’t, you’ll find an excuse.” - Jim Rohn (1930 - 2009)

Wake Up

When I was a child, my mom told me about the predictions of Nostradamus. One in particular had to with the emergence of an “Antichrist” that would herald the end of times. At that time I was somewhat fascinated with the idea of the apocalypse. I always felt that my life would end at an early stage, either through misadventure or the final end of all things.

Throughout my teens, I became keenly aware of the state of the planet. Pollution and conspicuous consumption were rendering vast tracks of land uninhabitable and the exploitation of the earth’s resources was driving many species into extinction at an ever increasing rate. This awareness is what inspired my environmentalist leanings.

Taking stock today I am aware that, despite my generation’s naive confidence that we were going to fix the problems created by past generations, the world is in a substantially worse condition than anyone ever thought possible. Global warming is no longer a debatable fact yet we are electing world leaders who don’t understand the difference between weather and climate. We watch with disinterest while those same leaders dismantle all plans to help save the planet. My generation is more concerned about the money in our wallets than the availability of food on the table for our children’s children.

The thought that crosses my mind today is - are we witnessing the end of times? Is Nostradamus’ Antichrist among us? If the Antichrist is indeed a great antagonist expected to fill the world with wickedness, how can we ignore our society’s unwavering worship of ‘more’ and the havoc our greed is causing? Everything has its price and our ethics and values are completely flexible as long as the price is right.

“. . . So many evils shall be committed . . .that almost the entire world shall be found undone and desolate. Before these events happen, many rare birds will cry in the air, ‘Now! Now!’ and sometime later will vanish.” - Nostradamus (1503 - 1566)