5,341

 

“They must often change, who would be constant in happiness or wisdom.” – Confucius (551 - 479 BC)

After fifteen years of blogging every week, this will be my last posting for the foreseeable future.

I began my blog as part of the requirements for the Ultimate Black Belt Test. My first posting went up on November 4, 2007 and I have not missed a weekly posting except when I was taking part in a UBBT event in Alabama without access to a computer or the internet. After Master Tom Callos retired the UBBT project, I continued my weekly blogging as an act of discipline to set an example for my students.

I have nothing but gratitude for everything that Tom Callos has brought into my life. So much of my current daily practice came about because of his guidance and encouragement. I have not regretted accepting and implementing his advice on anything, and the fifteen years of weekly blogging is probably the most powerful gift he has given me.

Not all of my posts were good or even pertinent. Often my postings were more about the discipline of following through with my promises and commitments as opposed to the thoughts and ideas I was recording. Regardless of the intent behind any particular post, I learned a lot about myself and the world around me from the process. No regrets.

My focus from this point on will be shifting from my own personal training and evolution to that of my students. I have been blessed with a long, prosperous career in the martial arts and I want to devote my remaining time to improving my student outcomes, influencing positive change in the martial arts industry, and promoting egalitarian ideals and initiatives within my community.

Ending my run is a bittersweet moment for me. I have mixed emotions about my decision but I am at peace.

“Don’t cry because it’s over. Smile because it happened.” – Dr. Seuss (1904 - 1991)

Traditional Forms

I have been blessed throughout my life to have had access to many mentors. I owe all my accomplishments to their experience and their willingness to share that experience with me. One can go so much further if they can benefit through the wisdom of those who have gone before.

This past week I was very disappointed to see one of my past mentors post a video about forms training in the martial arts. In his video he included an old video of himself grading for his black belt where he provided commentary as his old self performed a form and applications of his form against opponents. His running commentary was a cynical analysis of how useless his form and bunkai would be in a real self defence situation. Every aspect of his performance was put down and disregarded as useless. 

I am seeing more and more schools eliminate teaching forms as part of their curriculum. This approach has been trending ever since the martial arts were introduced into the west and it is threatening the very future of the martial arts.

First off, if forms training did not apply to real world self defence, traditional marital arts and forms training would not survived over two thousand years. There is a reason why arts like kung fu have been around for a couple of thousand years - it works. It has been my experience that those who do not value or teach forms training do not understand forms training.

Forms training has many benefits and applications in the modern world. The three main benefits are:

• Health. Forms training reinforces the body’s proper structure by reinforcing better posture and ideal alignment of the skeleton. This in turn supports proper organ location, spacing, and function. Overtly, forms training provides a good cardiovascular workout while building muscle mass and flexibility. Forms training is the also the best form of moving meditation I have experienced. There is a reason why martial arts training has proven beneficial to reducing stress.

• Skill. Everything physical that one learns in the martial arts is found in forms training. Every movement has a purpose. That purpose can be the expected self defence applications associated with the movement but the purpose can also be less obvious. Some of the techniques within a form are about flexibility and efficiency of motion. In hockey terms - the drills a team works on in practice have real world application in a game by helping the players develop speed and efficiency within their own skill sets.

• Fighting. Before the advent of protective pads, sparring in the martial arts was much more dangerous. It was impossible to practice your technique and applications at full speed because of the danger it presented to your training partners. Forms training was how a fighter trained and prepared safely. All the best forms practitioners I know are also the best fighters.

Forms training is the essence of traditional martial arts. You cannot eliminate forms training from your training regime and continue to call yourself a martial artist. While all martial artists are fighters, not all fighters are martial artists.

“The highest form of ignorance is when you reject something you don't know anything about.” - Wayne Dyer (1940 - 2015)

Teaching and Learning

The biggest hurdle that most students of the martial arts face when attempting to master their art is being able to differentiate between knowledge and skill. Knowing how to do something is not the same as being able to do something.

If I want to learn how to use a computer program and take a course to teach me how to use the program, if I do not immediately start to apply the knowledge, I will lose everything I have gained. Application reinforces knowledge.

In kung fu one can learn a new technique but if one does not take the time to actually apply the technique, the skill to use the technique is not acquired despite knowing the technique itself. It is akin to not being able to pull off a David Blaine illusion even though you know exactly how the trick is done. David Blaine has practiced a lot more than you have in order to do the trick as well as he does.

Teaching is one of the best learning tools any of us has when it comes to mastery. When you teach a technique it reinforces your own knowledge by forcing you to look deeper into the intricacies of a technique so that you can explain it better to your student. We instantly become aware of the hypocrisy and mediocrity within our own training when we realize that the eye for detail we are applying to our students’ technique is not always being applied to our own technique within our training. By teaching, our eye for detail becomes contagious and will permeate to our own training.

“When one teaches, two learn.” - Robert A. Heinlein (1907 - 1988)

Discipline

I had the privilege to see one of my living heroes speak this week. Henry Rollins has always inspired me with his social consciousness and his willingness to walk the walk and not just do the talk.

This was the second time I have seen him speak and he did not disappoint. He spoke, non-stop, for over two and half hours without a break, water, or interruption. If you know Henry Rollins you know how quickly he speaks. Anyone else presenting the same material would have needed an extra half to full hour to cover it all.

If I were to ignore the inspiration from his words, I still would come away totally inspired by his discipline. Discipline is in my wheelhouse but Henry Rollins’ discipline is on another level.

Living in a province whose mantra is consume, exploit, and take care of only your own, it was invigorating to spend that time with hundreds of other people, all masked no less, who reminded me that there is a lot of good out here.

“Seek freedom and become captive of your desires. Seek discipline and find your liberty.” - Frank Herbert (1920 - 1986)

Positive Cycles

Something I wrote for a student struggling to find the time to train . . . 

Everyday we are all faced with decisions. Sometimes success is only a positive decision away. It is a lot easier to make a positive decision when you have clarity in your goals. Why are you studying kung fu? Obviously you have spent years practicing it for a reason. If that reason is empowerment, then you already know that there are benefits to all aspects of your life when you train in kung fu. If your training is benefitting all aspects of your life, how can cutting kung fu to focus on other aspects of your life even make sense? 

You have separated your kung fu from your life to the point where it may have already just become yet another stressor. If your training is relegated to "When I have time", there really is no future in the art for you until that perspective/priority changes.

Think about your diet. Very few of us eat clean. We rush about our day sometimes only feeding ourselves with what is handy and convenient instead of mindfully consuming food that nurtures us. Yet when we consistently clean up our diet, we feel the immediate benefits - clarity of thought and reduction of stress. Those benefits give us more time to mindfully prepare our future meals. The cycle has now become self-perpetuating - in a positive way.

At the same time, it does not take much to let things slide. A day here and a day there where, in a weak moment, we let down our guard and eat something we know is not good for us but it is more convenient. Our clarity begins to erode and is not so clear, our thoughts not so efficient, and our stress begins to build. Once again this cycle now becomes self-perpetuating - in a negative way.

If you want to stay on a positive cycle, STAY ON A POSITIVE CYCLE! It really is that simple. If you want to get on a positive cycle, GET ON A POSITIVE CYCLE! That too is really that simple. There is no magic to earning a black belt. Train. If you do not want to train? Train! Positive cycles do not just randomly start. You need to make the correct decisions - one at a time, every time.

“Yesterday is not ours to recover, but tomorrow is ours to win or lose.” - Lyndon B. Johnson (1908 - 1973)

Beliefs and Behaviours

It is unfortunate that our actions do not always reflect our values. It is never a simple matter to fully understand where our true values lay yet most of us are quite adamant about what we believe in and hold to be true. Yet if one were to analyze their daily actions, they would soon realize how much hypocrisy has crept into their lives.

If you are an advocate for animal rights and are against animal cruelty but purchase products that are tested on lab animals, you are actually supporting animal cruelty, not fighting against it.

Perhaps your real values are about money, not animal rights. Or maybe life has become so hectic that you are unable to make mindful decisions. At this point you either have to admit that your values are not what you thought they were or that you are a hypocrite.

With all the divisive political rhetoric out here, reconciliation is going to be difficult unless everyone first understands themselves and their actions. The problem is not the destructive behaviour out here, the problem is the the lack of mindfulness. Behaviour will never change unless there is clarity in action. Knowing why we do things is the fundamental foundation of positive change.

“Voting is not something that we do only once every four years; it’s a daily way of life. We vote with our wallets through every purchase decision that we make. For example: there is only one reason why grocery stores in Hawaii sell mangoes that are imported from Ecuador: people keep buying them. Tropical fruit grows right here on the island but we can’t blame the stores for supplying what we demand. If we change our ways and only buy local mangoes, however, then they will only sell local mangoes; it’s that simple.” - Timber Hawkeye (b. 1977)

6th Wave

We have had to make some changes at our school to address the sixth wave of the pandemic. We launched our endemic plan a few months ago but the current situation here, on the third year of the current pandemic, is the worst it has ever been.

The real problem we are facing right now has been endemic throughout the COVID-19 pandemic. Suspending all restrictions during a significant infection wave of a three year pandemic is why we are here. The problem is lack of leadership. This lack of leadership though is no longer the fault of the UCP government, that fault lies squarely on each of our shoulders. 

We all have the right to forgo masks and isolation at the expense of every vulnerable and immune-compromised citizen. Unfortunately we also have the right to suspend the use of common sense:

• People not considering the incubation period of COVID-19 before the onset of symptoms. 
• People not understanding that they are contagious for two days prior to showing symptoms. 
• People not understanding the limitations of a rapid test and the likelihood of testing negative, despite being symptomatic, for days before finally getting a positive confirmation of COVID. 

All of those factors are fueling the current pandemic wave because people are not isolating after a known exposure. The majority of us are waiting until the onset of symptoms or worse yet, a positive rapid test confirmation before isolating. Under those conditions, you have already spread the virus before you even knew you were infected. You’re closing the barn door after the cows have got out.

“Common sense is not so common.” - Voltaire (1694 - 1778)

Grief

Everyone obviously grieves differently. I don’t have a good handle on how I handle grief but I am starting to understand a bit better.

I thought I was very good at handling grief. So good in in fact that for a while I thought there might be something wrong with me. My ability to compartmentalize is borderline sociopathic. Or so I thought.

On the first anniversary of my father’s death, I am much more aware of how my grieving process is more complicated than I thought. I can tell my mental health is compromised and how I am dealing with his death, or not dealing with it, is spilling over into other areas of my life.

Yesterday I visited my dad’s gravesite for the first time since his funeral last year. What I had anticipated to be a healing process did not turn out the way I had hoped or envisioned. I find my grief to be even more profound today than it was before my pilgrimage.

Obviously I have a way to go before his passing is behind me. I miss you dad.

“There is no pain so great as the memory of joy in present grief.” - Aeschylus (525 - 456 BC)

Peace and Happiness

We’ve been on the brink of another world war for a couple of months. The political divide continues to widen as people polarize and close their minds. The pandemic rages on with the sixth wave looking like it will be continuing to intensify to peak sometime this summer. Unsettling times for sure.

I have been finding more peace and happiness despite these uncertain times because I have made a choice to disengage from the conversation. I think this mindset only became possible because I finally realized that nobody was listening. We are all just screaming into a void while suspending critical thinking.

Life is short. Everyone gets what they put into it. I don’t want to end up looking back on my life with regret. I am grateful for the freedom I have. I am grateful for the love that nurtures my life. I am grateful for the company of my friends and family. This is all I want for everyone.

“If you don’t feel free in Canada, nothing any political candidate can say or do will ever help you. A candidate peddling more freedom , or telling you to take back Canada is creating anger in you for their own purposes.Canada is not perfect, we have work to do, but we are free.” - Peter Radcliffe

Grounding

“It is in my nature to grow old. It is in my nature to get sick. It is in my nature to die. “

I repeat and reinforce this affirmation as part of my daily meditation practice. It never hurts to kickstart my day with a solid dose of reality to fuel my motivation to maximize the possibility of the present moment.

There is no work. It is all play.

“This is the real secret of life — to be completely engaged with what you are doing in the here and now. And instead of calling it work, realize it is play.” - Allan Watts (1915 - 1973)

Victim or Hero

We all are goal-orientated to some degree. Society has evolved to the point where we spend at least eight hours per day earning a living to put food on the table, another eight hours asleep, and around three more hours eating. That leaves five hours left in a day to accomplish anything personal beyond these basics. When you consider how much time the average person spends in front of a television set or computer screen, having and following a plan to achieve your goals is almost a necessity. 

The busyness of our lives is guaranteed but all the activity generated by our busyness does not necessarily result in the achievement of our goals. Without discipline and focus, time slips away and with it, so does opportunity.

We can’t control the busyness embedded in our lifestyle so learning how to maximize the few hours we have available to achieve our personal goals is imperative if we wish to be successful.

Ultimately, time is the only commodity that has true value. Time is finite and none of us have any guarantee as to how much time we have. Maximizing what we do with the time we have available is the best way to achieve your goals.

The only way to maximize your time is to live in the present moment. Unless you are living in the present moment, your future is random. Tomorrow is determined by what you do today. Action or inaction will set your future. Action gives you control, inaction relinquishes your control. Action can make you the hero of your future, inaction can make you the victim of your past.

“No valid plans for the future can be made by those who have no capacity for living now.” - Alan Watts (1915 - 1973)

The Art of the Question

As a teacher I am aware that when I answer a student’s question, there is a chance that the student may not use my answer in the way in which I had intended. I used to overcompensate for this possibility by over-explaining my answers in an attempt to ensure the intent of my answers were understood by my students. Thirty years of experience has shown me that the intent behind my answer is irrelevant when compared to the intent behind the question.

Experience with divisive politics, and even the pandemic, shows us that people rarely ask a question without already being invested in their own opinion. People are not always looking for the answer, more often than not, they are looking for a specific answer and they structure their question in such a way to help funnel the answer toward their agenda.

Ego is not the friend of the truth, education, or mindful living. The truth is out there and so is the knowledge you seek. You just need to make sure that your intent is to acquire knowledge and truth, not just an answer.

“People are very open-minded about new things - as long as they're exactly like the old ones.” - Charles Kettering (1876 - 1958)

SLAP SLAP SLAP SLAP SLAP SLAP SLAP

We’re going on to the third year of the COVID pandemic, Quebec has started a new wave of infections, Ontario’s waste water analysis is also indicating an imminent surge, and there are still people who do not seem to understand the seriousness of the situation. 

There is a lot emotion that goes into a person’s world view. The main weapon we have at our disposal in controlling those emotions is knowledge and understanding. We have the power of reasoning available to us and the intellect, for the most part, to understand the concepts of cause and effect, as well as the ability to reason out that freedom and rights come with significant responsibility.

My personal belief is that government mandates are never going to be effective unless there is a zero tolerance approach to enforcement. We can argue all we want about whether or not a mandated measure is effective but the argument has absolutely no merit unless the mandated measures are implemented completely and then the resulting data proves them effective or ineffective. If we are not following the mandates, there is no way to prove, one way or another, the validity of the strategy. Unfortunately for the minority who absolutely refuse to comply with any mandate unless they are not personally inconvenienced by it, they can keep fueling this pandemic indefinitely and continue to argue that the mandates are not effective despite the fact that it is their personal actions that are guaranteeing the failure of any mandate.

We will never be at the point where we can rely upon everyone to pull together in a unified, logical strategy. To be clear, when I say logical, I am talking about strategies based upon science and common sense, not strategies based upon emotions. Politics, personal agendas, and illogical paradigms will continue to divide us and continue to be used to promote personal benefit over what is best for our community and society as a whole.

No leadership or strategy is going to benefit everyone equally. Compromise is the only way we can progress together. Unfortunately for the privileged few, compromise tends not to be in their vocabulary.

We are letting politicians decide medical strategies. We are ignoring healthcare professionals and doing our own “research” on the internet. This is why we have entered the third year of a global pandemic with no end in sight.

“Make sure your worst enemy is not living between your own two ears...”  ― Nitya Prakash (b. 1988)

Life

I have three direct family members currently isolating after testing positive for COVID. It is frustrating that after two years of us sacrificing and being careful, we end up with COVID in our family at this late stage of the pandemic. All of this is happening because my daughter’s boss decided to go to work anyway despite testing positive for COVID. After my daughter was unknowingly exposed for two and half days, she was finally informed that she was working side by side with someone infected. Despite leaving work and immediately isolating, she tested positive two days later. In the meantime she had already unknowingly infected her sibling and her grandfather.

When I look at Alberta’s COVID stats, we currently have over 12,000 people infected with the virus per 100,000 citizens. That means 12% of Albertans currently have COVID. That number does not include my three family members and everyone else who is quietly battling COVID at home. Nor does that number include the people who know they have COVID and are actively infecting everyone around them because they refuse to isolate themselves. I suspect the reported cases of COVID in this province only represents a fraction of the actual current cases.

With infection numbers like that and the mask mandate rescinded, there is little chance of avoiding COVID.

Know Thyself

Knowing ourselves is no easy task. We spend an inordinate amount of time distracting ourselves from the reality of our situations. We work hard to suppress facing our true realities so intently that we make it impossible to reflect before we react.

Can we change who we are? Not likely. Who we are has been defined by nature and nurture. That is a lot of inertia to overcome.

The thing we can change is the way that we deal with who we are. Before we can begin to change the way that we deal with who we are, we must first know who we are.

“Know yourself to improve yourself” - Auguste Comte (1798 - 1857)

The Dickens Process

I met with one of my mentors, Tom Callos, a couple of weeks ago and he introduced me to the ‘Dickens Process’ that he was introduced to by Tony Robbins.

The Dickens Process exercise drives its name from the Charles Dickens novel "A Christmas Carol" in which Scrooge is visited by ghosts showing him his past, present, and future. By following this strategy of analyzing your limiting beliefs across each tense (past, present, and future), we can see what the actual cost of our beliefs is by looking at each belief in detail to answer the following questions:

• What has each belief cost me and the people I care about in the past?

• What has each belief cost me and the people I care about in the present?

• What will each belief cost me and the people I care about in the future?

When we ask ourselves those three questions, it is important to answer completely by hearing the answer, seeing the answer, and feeling the answer. We must illicit not only a logical response, but an emotional one as well.

By dwelling upon the consequences of our limiting beliefs, we begin laying the foundation required to create new beliefs to replace them. Sometimes it is as simple as reframing the narratives of our beliefs so they are no longer limiting our growth.

“One of my top three limiting beliefs was ‘I’m not hardwired for happiness,’ which I replaced with ‘happiness is my natural state.’” — Tim Ferris’s (b. 1977)

Predetermined Mediocrity

Sometimes we make decisions that cater to what we want rather than what we need. A lot of those decisions are made long before we realize it. We will take time to acquire data that will support these decisions so that we can justify making the decision we want, even when we know it is not what we need. 

• Work today wiped me out so it is not a good idea to go to the gym.

• I don’t have time to cook so fast food it is.

• I am too busy to train consistently so kung fu is not in the cards.

There are an almost infinite number of reasons to make any decision. Hence why it is important to always differentiate between wants and needs. We tend to gravitate to mediocrity even though our goal is mastery. We all know what is good for us but we spend an awful lot of time convincing ourselves that the easy way - what we want, is actually what we need.

Mediocrity is easy. So easy that most of us gravitate to it so seamlessly that we don’t even realize it. The thing is though, mastery is almost as easy. It is just a matter of maintaining clarity and making the right decisions.

“Never cut a tree down in the wintertime. Never make a negative decision in the low time. Never make your most important decisions when you are in your worst moods. Wait. Be patient. The storm will pass. The spring will come.” — Robert H. Schuller (1926 - 2015)

Less is More

I read an interesting article from Harvard professor Arthur Brooks about the secret to happiness that really resonated with me. He refers to the “hedonic treadmill” which is our tendency to add things when we consider what it would take to improve our lives. Our first impulse is to think that we would be happier if our career was going better or if we could take a trip or even make a large purchase. The problem with this approach is that it tends to backfire.



According to Brooks: “Having goals is a great way to accomplish the kinds of big ambitions that give life meaning. No one says waiting around on the couch for the universe to do what it will with you is the route to fulfillment. But a mountain of research shows that when you reach your goals, they're likely to only bring you momentary joy. After a brief high, dissatisfaction creeps in and we start to crave the next thing on the list.”

This is what psychologists call the “hedonic treadmill”. We all have experienced this — we fantasize about a better television, a better job, a glamorous vacations, but as soon as we get it we start coveting even better TV’s , jobs, and vacations. Our quest for more is insatiable and it rarely results in more happiness. 



Brooks has a simple solution to this perpetual problem - a reverse bucket list. He describes exactly what he means by the term.

“Each year on my birthday, I list my wants and attachments--the stuff that fits under Thomas Aquinas's categories of money, power, pleasure, and honor. I try to be completely honest. I don't list stuff I would actually hate and never choose, like a sailboat or a vacation house. Rather, I go to my weaknesses, most of which--I'm embarrassed to admit--involve the admiration of others for my work," he writes.



Next he imagines what his life would be in five years if he were to be truly happy - if he were living up to his values and experiencing a sense of psychological peace. The final step is to compare the two lists side by side. Would those things he craves actually bring him closer to his vision of the good life? Basically he asks if an item is on his bucket list because it lines up with his deepest desires and values or if it there to impress someone else or feed an unquenchable need for validation. If it is the former, it goes on his bucket list. If it is the latter, it goes on his reverse bucket list. 



Almost always, less is more.



“I’ve learned that minimalism is not about what you own, it’s about why you own it.” - Brian Gardner 

Investing in Karma

Everyone makes mistakes. Mistakes are an inevitable byproduct of effort and growth. Some mistakes are stupid but if our intent is positive and pure, they are nevertheless honest.

The word Karma literally translates as action. Many believe that our actions are reciprocated so a positive action will return positivity. A negative action will return negativity. For many the concept of Karma is spiritual, almost magical. For me, Karma is just common sense.

Every action has a consequence. My action that intentionally causes harm will in turn cause harm to myself - if only for the guilt that accompanies such actions. Likewise kind actions produce ripples of kindness that continue to spread and multiply, eventually coming back to me.

I continually invest in Karma. I know my actions have consequences and I know those consequences affect the world that I am part of. I try to be the change I want to see in the world.

“How people treat you is their karma; how you react is yours.” - Wayne Dyer (1940 - 2015)

Year of the Tiger

Starting the lunar year with a banquet and the promotion of two students to the rank of black belt is the best way to begin the lunar year. Yes the banquet was only a virtual event for the second year in a row but it was inspirational nevertheless. The excitement that this brings is the best part of Chinese New Year and the busyness of hosting such an event is the worst. 

Of course a lot went wrong with such a technologically intense endeavour and those numerous glitches weigh on me. It is difficult to talk coherently when you are multi-tasking while putting out technical fires. The experience was not ideal but the frantic memories will serve as anchors to recall the positive experience of the event moving forward. 



Congratulations to Sifu Jackie Kohut and Sihing Kody Bjorkquist on earning your black belts. I am grateful that I was able to travel with the two of you on your mastery journeys these many years. You are an inspiration to me and everyone who has had the pleasure and honour to share the experience. 



“She who succeeds in gaining the mastery of the bicycle will gain the mastery of life.” — Susan B. Anthony (1820 - 1906)

Dad

Usually at this time of year I am thinking about beginnings. The lunar new year is always an opportunity to ground myself and reflect about what is important and then begin anew with a refreshed and refocused perspective. Perhaps it is because of the recent passing of Thich Nhat Hanh but this year I find myself thinking less about beginnings and more on endings.

My father passed away in April. His death was a long time coming and, ultimately, a welcome relief. His final years were not his best. Throughout my dad’s final journey, I found it difficult to maintain clarity on who he was when he was healthy. The COPD and dementia had taken over him so completely that I had resigned myself to the fact that the clear memories of his final battle were replacing my memories of who he was before his decline.

Nine months after his passing, I have less memories of my father’s decline and horrible final years and more of who he was throughout his life. Perhaps this welcome surprise is evidence that I am beginning anew for the year after all. I miss you dad but I recognize and am grateful for your continuation.

“We are the continuation of all our ancestors. Thanks to impermanence, we have a chance to transform our inheritance in a beautiful direction.” - Thich Nhat Hanh (1926 - 2022)

Thay

My mastery path has been blessed with the leadership and example of many mentors and teachers whose generosity has guided me throughout my life. I revere my lineage and I know my life and accomplishments have been built upon the foundation others have helped me build. It is difficult to not feel the strain on that foundation when I lose one of them.

Thich Nhat Hanh’s influence on the world is well-documented and he has been a big part of my life since I was a teenager. He has prepared me for the day that he would no longer be directly accessible but nevertheless I find myself overwhelmed by the magnitude of the loss.

For the first time in my life I am walking the earth without him in his familiar form. He will always be with me and for that I am grateful. How I miss him.

“If you look deeply into the palm of your hand, you will see your parents and all generations of your ancestors. All of them are alive in this moment. Each is present in your body. You are the continuation of each of these people.” - Thich Nhat Hanh (1926 - 2022)

ACTS OF JERKINESS

Probably the most important requirement to earn a black belt in my school is the Acts of Kindness requirement. Every black belt candidate must record at least one thousand acts of kindness in the year. I stress the ‘record’ aspect of the requirement.

I don’t think anyone can argue the value and purpose of performing an act of kindness to earn a black belt. Humbleness and empathy are important attributes for a person looking to earn recognition for their fighting ability. As a martial artist, I am not interested in feeding anyone’s ego or narcissistic attitude. Knowledge with humility is what I value.

Despite the obvious value of such a requirement, I get a lot of questions and even objections about the recording aspect of the requirement. “I do dozens of kind acts everyday. Why would I write them all down?” Is the most common argument against recording each act. Sometimes the value of something may seem so obvious that people do not delve deeper into the depth of that value.

Perhaps if I changed the requirement from recording ‘Acts of Kindness’ to recording ‘Acts of Jerkiness’, I would generate deeper understanding and appreciation for the potential of the requirement. For me acts of kindness are easy, just like they are for everyone else. Most of us are naturally kind. However when I started recording my acts of kindness, I became much more mindful and aware of the kind acts I was doing but more importantly, I began noticing a lot of opportunities to be even more kind that I had been missing.

Maybe if I kept closer track of all the times in a day I am actually being somewhat of a jerk, I would become more kind. Sometimes focusing on the negative helps us eliminate the negatives to make our lives more positive.

Master and mediocrity, kindness and jerkiness. Two sides of the same coins

. Where you find one, you will find the other. The Yin and the Yang.

“Be kind whenever possible. It is always possible.” —The 14th Dalai Lama (b. 1935)

Avoidance and Engagment

Disciplining yourself over the long term to achieve your goals is never easy. There are always motivational traps eroding away at your resolve and affecting your self-talk.

I have been through a lot in my lifetime when it comes to my training. I think I have tried every shortcut I could think of when it comes to kung fu; only to face the ultimately reality that I had wasted more time trying to save time. There are no shortcuts to mastery.

My experience has given me a lot of empathy for my students and what they face. Mastery is not an easy journey. The self doubt, the negative self-talk, the long hours - everything seems to be against you.

The common response to the overwhelming magnitude of the mastery journey is withdrawal and avoidance. We avoid thinking about the positives and withdraw from engaging ourselves in the very activities that we know to be beneficial. Our negative self-talk convinces us that the value of what we seek is not worth the investment of our time and sweat.

When we are going through difficult times we tend to disengage - the exact opposite strategy we should be using. Not avoiding but rather pushing ourselves to engage has a positive snowball effect on our attitude. Our perspective clears and clarity returns to our vision and our thoughts. Unfortunately, that is easier said than done.

I am extremely passionate about kung fu because it has changed my life. Everything I have is due to kung fu. I know it will change the life of anyone who embraces the art and I have dedicated the last thirty years to help people realize their potential.

Unfortunately I can only do so much. Being eager to help is only part of the solution. Engagement is necessary to access help.

“He was a self-made man who owed his lack of success to nobody.” - Joseph Heller (1923 - 1999)

2022

I can remember Y2K like it was yesterday. I remember as a kid thinking that I was going to be old when 1999 flips over to 2000. Here we are twenty two years later. Life is shorter than we think.

2022 will mark the fourth year of COVID-19. No travel, limited socialization. During the pandemic I have only seen my parents a handful of times and my father had to die alone earlier this year. I have watched my 85 year old aunt’s mobility decrease drastically because she has not had access to her aquacise class for the duration. Lives have been put on hold but life never stops evolving and we do not stop aging.

For me the pandemic has brought a lot of positive change to my life. I have had to become more mindful with my business and my daily routine. This mindfulness has eliminated substantial mediocrity from my life - mediocrity that I was not aware existed. I see a lot of people who have put their lives on hold while the pandemic runs its course. Mindfulness has made me aware that, because of mediocrity, a lot of my life was on hold. I am grateful that the pandemic woke me up and reminded me to live.

Life is short. Live always.

“Life is short and we have never too much time for gladdening the hearts of those who are traveling the dark journey with us. Oh be swift to love, make haste to be kind.” - Henri Frederic Amiel (1821 - 1881)