Compassionate Honesty

Every teacher has their teaching methods. Likewise, every student has their learning methods. Since the teacher is teaching multiple students, it is impossible for them to find a teaching method that will work for each and every student. However if the students learn to be flexible and adapt their learning method to suit the teacher's teaching method, everyone progresses. It is no coincidence that one of the most common attributes of a black belt is adaptability.

Feedback, an essential element in teaching, is only effective if it is received openly by the student. If the student gets defensive and attempts to invalidate the feedback, the lesson is lost. Excluding the students who will always be impossible to reach, the way feedback is delivered is the biggest determining factor on how the feedback is received.

Most teachers are never lacking in compassion. We see ourselves in our students and we take responsibility for their progress. We spend a lot of time empathizing with our students and looking for ways to inspire them to open their minds and believe in themselves. Sometimes in all that compassion, the lesson can be lost.

A key component to compassionate teaching is honesty. I am my students' eye for detail. My experience helps me see their strengths, their weaknesses, and most importantly — their potential. My compassionate honesty is essential to open their minds to see what I see.

“If someone is able to show me that what I think or do is not right, I will happily change, for I seek the truth, by which no one was ever truly harmed. It is the person who continues in his self-deception and ignorance who is harmed.” - Marcus Aurelius (121 - 180 A.D.)

Connecting the Dots

Journalling has never been an easy undertaking for me. My thoughts and ideas tend to be very abstract in nature and I would describe many of my decisions and strategies to be intuition based. Obviously my intuition is based upon the sum of my experiences but that experiential knowledge resides more at a subconscious level making it difficult for me to provide logical explanations and justifications for the decisions I make and the value system that influences them. Hence why journalling is such and arduous task for me.

Rewind to six years ago. My friend and mentor, Tom Callos, convinced me to commit to a weekly journalling routine. Not something I wanted to do but my respect for Tom inspired me to go outside my comfort zone and trust his advice that weekly journalling is an important tool of mastery.

Fast forward to today. Weekly journalling is no easier for me today than it was when I started six years ago. In fact it is a little more difficult. I continue to struggle to find my voice and temper my postings so that they serve more than just a venue to vent my rage and frustrations. The world is not even close to being perfect but there are constructive and non-divisive ways of addressing the issues I am passionate about. I am learning and my progress continues to be slow but steady.

Despite the difficulty I face in journalling every week, the benefits I have realized by using this tool have been spectacular. I often talk to my students about expanding their vocabulary of motion and in that vein I have found weekly journalling has expanded my vocabulary when it comes to defining the benefits of kung fu.

A tool is only useful as such if you use it. I have used my journalling tool 299 times in the last six years. I have journaled about politics, the environment, mental health, kung fu, pets, and life in general. My postings haven't all been gems but each one served its purpose by helping me find my voice and learn what has gone into making me who I am.

“Words are the voice of the heart.” - Confucious (551 - 479 BC)

Perpetual Victims

Some people are difficult to help. These people tend to be perpetual victims of circumstance. Things are never quite right for them as they struggle, too focused on things that are not perfect to notice all the opportunities they have in front of them. It is easy to get trapped in a cycle of self-imposed helplessness where it is easier to find excuses than solutions.

There is a proverb that says - "He who cannot dance claims the floor is uneven." The difference between success and failure often comes down to honesty. If I look at myself in the mirror and see myself for exactly who I am, and take responsibility for that person, I will work diligently to fix those things I know about myself that I do not like. If I am not honest, I will only see what I want to see and blame outside influences when reality does not mesh with my ideal construct. In essence, I victimize myself.

"Ninety-nine percent of failures come from people who have the habit of making excuses." - George Washington Carver (1864 - 1943)

Ego

There are those who want to get a black belt and there are those who are a black belt. The difference is found in their approach after that black belt is tied around their waist.

Being a black belt is all about mastery. and mastery is more than discipline and hard work. There has to be a resonating purpose behind the efforts of a master because mastery is not the blind pursuit of knowledge, it is about understanding and awareness.

This is the time of year that I put a lot of thought into what type of black belts I am trying to produce. A person only earns that rank once so it is important that I get it right. I want my students to recognize that their actions can serve them or their actions can serve their ego. That difference in perspective will determine if the student gets a black belt or becomes a black belt.

“The Ego is not who you really are. The ego is your self-image; it is your social mask; it is the role you are playing. Your social mask thrives on approval. It wants control, and it is sustained by power, because it lives in fear.” - Deepak Chopra (b. 1947)