Comfort Zone

Extending oneself is rarely comfortable and hardly safe. Yet the opportunities and possibilities that occupy the space just outside your comfort zone are worth the risk. The comfort zone comes with guarantees. Guaranteed familiarity may feel comfortable and safe but the consequence of that guarantee is that things are not going to change. If you are not happy with where you are or the results you are getting from your efforts, change is needed. It is said that the definition of insanity is doing the same thing over and over again and expecting different results.

Change is easier to face when you realize that the only thing that is absolutely guaranteed in life is change. In fact, a lot of suffering is brought on when we do not accept change. Embrace change, go outside your comfort zone. Take a chance and invest in a better future.

 “Proceed and be bold.” - Samuel Mockbee (1944 - 2001)

Success

“He wants a gift, not the program.” An excellent quote by a friend this week. The context was about a self help program that someone was not applying themselves to. It struck me how pertinent his statement was when it comes to Kung Fu. While there are many who want to learn the art, very few want to do what it takes to master it.

Woody Allen famously said, ”Eighty percent of success is showing up.” That is absolutely true. Unfortunately there are those who think that one hundred percent of success is showing up. Skill in Kung Fu is not just acquired over time. It is acquired through what you are doing over time. Mastery cannot be purchased, nor is it earned through osmosis. Consistent action produces predictable results. 

“Success consists of going from failure to failure without loss of enthusiasm.” - Winston Churchill (1874 - 1965)

Earning a Black Belt

Earning my black belt is the most significant accomplishment of my life. It was ego and testosterone that fueled my drive to acquire the skill to earn the rank. Somewhere along the way things changed. I became more interested in the mental discipline than the physical discipline. My eyes were opened to the world and Kung Fu permeated everything I touched and experienced. I am who I am because of Kung Fu.

The value of the black belt is found in what I had to accomplish to earn it. The key word is earn. That concept continues to be a difficult one for many of us in the west. We are used to buying things more than earning. Earning is for money and money is for buying things. I have had people approach earning their black belt as a just a matter of time proposition. You spend the time, you earn the rank. Fortunately, that is not how it happens. It is not the time that earns you the black belt, it is what you do with the time that does.

As an instructor entrusted with upholding the integrity of the rank of black belt, I have to be careful to ensure my students earn the rank. I am willing to do what I can to help them achieve the rank but I can only go so far. If I help them too much, they will not earn it. That is why, during their promotion ceremony, my black belts are never handed their black belts. The belt is placed before them and it is up to them to take it. I black belt is never given.

 “I learned the value of hard work by working hard.” - Margaret Mead (1901-1978)

Defining Authenticity

This is a time of year when my thoughts narrow and focus on the various ways we let mediocrity leach into our lives. When it comes to mastery, we all have a multitude of excuses why today is not a good day to train. We can find a multitude of reasons to justify taking a day off, which becomes a week off, which becomes a month off . . . When a student gives me a reason why their technique or form is not up to par, I always tell them to write it down and start a list. Down the road when they are wondering why they did not earn their black belt, they can just refer to the list.

Seth Godin wrote a fantastic blog about defining authenticity. He said:



For me, it's not "do what you feel like doing," because that's unlikely to be useful. 

You might feel like hanging out on the beach, telling off your boss or generally making nothing much of value. Authenticity as an impulse is hardly something to aspire to.

It's not, "say whatever is on your mind," either.

Instead, I define it as, "consistent emotional labor."

We call a brand or a person authentic when they're consistent, when they act the same way whether or not someone is looking. Someone is authentic when their actions are in alignment with what they promise.

Showing up as a pro.

Keeping promises.

Even when you don't feel like it.

Especially when you don't.



Wow, what Seth said.

“Real isn't how you are made,' said the Skin Horse. 'It's a thing that happens to you. When a child loves you for a long, long time, not just to play with, but REALLY loves you, then you become Real.'
'Does it hurt?' asked the Rabbit. 
'Sometimes,' said the Skin Horse, for he was always truthful. 'When you are Real you don't mind being hurt.' 
'Does it happen all at once, like being wound up,' he asked, 'or bit by bit?' 
'It doesn't happen all at once,' said the Skin Horse. 'You become. It takes a long time. That's why it doesn't happen often to people who break easily, or have sharp edges, or who have to be carefully kept. Generally, by the time you are Real, most of your hair has been loved off, and your eyes drop out and you get loose in the joints and very shabby. But these things don't matter at all, because once you are Real you can't be ugly, except to people who don't understand.” - Margery Williams Bianco, The Velveteen Rabbit (1881 - 1944)

A Choice

No, I do not have my head in the sand. My eyes are as open as my heart. There are many perspectives to a single conflict which means that what is is never exactly what is. It is what is, coloured by the sum of our experiences. Fear, hate, and prejudice are not the result of our experiences but rather how we have chosen to respond to those experiences.

I have not solved a single conflict in my life without empathy and compassion. Every punch I have thrown has resulted in punches being returned. Every insult has brought back the same. I do not require a degree in psychology to figure out how a person is likely to respond to specific actions before I actually take those actions. Asking myself how my actions/words are going to serve my goals before I take action has allowed me to avoid perpetuating a situation I would rather amend.

Today in Edmonton, we are experiencing the pain and suffering brought about by actions perpetrated by people who have long since left this world but whose greed and hate continue to resonate. How will we all react? We have a choice. Is it our goal to eliminate terrorism or is it to take our revenge for it? The two goals are mutually exclusive.

“Fear is another root of violence and terrorism. We terrorize others so that they will have no chance to terrorize us. We want to kill before we are killed. Instead of bringing us peace and safety, this escalates violence. lf we kill someone we call a terrorist, his son may become a terrorist. Throughout history, the more we kill, the more terrorists we create” - Thich Nhat Hanh (b. 1926)