Acts of Discipline

One of my students introduced a “No Added Sugar Challenge” for the month of April so I spent the entire month avoiding eating anything with added sugar. I did not go out of my way to analyze the ingredients of everything I consumed, but I stayed aware of my commitment and was true to the spirit of the challenge.

I like taking on acts of discipline challenges throughout the year to keep me focused on mastery. The no added sugar challenge did not disappoint me. I found my focus on staying engaged in the challenge permeated into other areas of my life. April turned out to be a banner month of accomplishments for me.

No matter the magnitude, an act of discipline is never wasted.

“In reading the lives of great men, I found that the first victory they won was over themselves... self-discipline with all of them came first.” - Harry S. Truman (1884 - 1972)

Two Weeks

Tomorrow my dad will have been gone two weeks. It definitely is not getting easier, in fact it still has not totally sunk in that I will not see him again. The one positive thing is that my mind is filled with mostly happy memories of him. I was scared that my only memories would be of his final years fighting COPD, dementia, and then him dying alone.  Small blessings I guess. 

My dad did die alone though, as are a lot of other people during this pandemic. Listening to people talk about being judged about their personal decisions or hearing people put a spin on the situation by trying to make what they are doing to be about freedom and censorship boggles my mind. Just because people do not agree with you does not mean they are not listening to you. However, you cannot demand that someone respect your decision or your point of view. Respect must be earned. Your personal opinions do not trump science and proven facts. 

My dad died alone and he did not have to die alone. He died alone because this province cannot do what needs to be done to control this pandemic. We are blessed to live in a free society. Those freedoms come with a price. That price is responsibility. Look out for everyone else and everyone else should be looking out for you. We are in this together. Inconvenience for the good of your community is not the suppression of your rights. Surely we all understand this simple concept. 

We need to get it together and start doing what is right. People are dying unnecessarily. People, like my dad, are dying alone. 

“When the freedom they wished for most was freedom from responsibility, then Athens ceased to be free and was never free again.” — Edith Hamilton (1867 - 1963)

A New World

This past week has been a week filled with change. This week is the first week the world, for me, has existed without my dad in it. I have been preparing for this inevitability for a long time yet somehow I was not prepared when the time came. It is even more difficult today than it was when he died a week ago. 

My dad spent his final year mostly alone. The timing of the pandemic could not have been worse. It is frustrating that a man who spent his entire life in service of others was forced to end his days isolated because so many of us cannot wrap our minds around the concept that freedom comes with responsibility. I am gobsmacked at the irony of him dying alone while others are out enjoying themselves at an illegal rodeo the very same week.

“My father said there were two kinds of people in the world: givers and takers. The takers may eat better, but the givers sleep better.” — Marlo Thomas (b. 1937)

Together

We’re well over a year into a pandemic that probably has another year to go before it is behind us. Who knows, it could be longer. Some countries like New Zealand have already put most of this pandemic behind them but we’re still pushing toward a peak. I don’t understand the reluctance that people have with complying with health orders, especially those who are so concerned about the economy. As New Zealand has proven, following common sense, and enforcing that common sense when needed, gets the economy back on track a lot sooner than our everyman for himself approach that is killing most business in this province through a death of a thousand cuts. 

I get the argument about civil rights and freedoms but some of us are sounding like spoiled teenagers. Freedom comes with responsibility. It has never been about doing whatever you want when you want. It is about earning the freedom we have by contributing to your community and accepting the responsibility that comes with all those freedoms you hold dear. Nothing is for free, everything is earned. 

Yes, we have incompetent politicians making stupid mistakes that is costing us lives and livelihoods. We put those politicians into power and so rather than fighting them, it would be infinitely better if we tried to help them. Pulling together is still the best way to overcome any adversity. We can fight any problem better when we are not always fighting ourselves. 

“I think the best of us comes when we are working together collectively. And it doesn't mean that we can't disagree. We've got to learn, as Dad taught us, to disagree without being disagreeable.” - Martin Luther King III (b. 1957) 

Needs and Wants

As I age I can recognize the difference between needs and wants. When I was younger and chasing my nest egg, I thought that was a need. I recognize now it was a want. Needs make me happy. Wants make me think they will make me happy.

I know I would be much more happy today if I would have understood the difference between my needs and my wants at an earlier age. It is amazing how time and experience gives one clarity.

I do not need much. This is reflected by how I choose to live my life. I am not accumulating a lot of stuff. In fact, I continue to reduce my possessions every year. Simply living is a matter of living simply. I no longer chase, I experience.

“While they have not got their aims, their anxiety is how to get them. When they have got them, their anxiety is lest they should lose them.” - Confucius (551 - 479 BC)

Doomed

When this pandemic hit us over a year ago, despite having many months to prepare for the inevitable, our provincial leadership was scrambling to adopt measures and protocols to limit the spread of the virus. After floundering for weeks while we watched the virus spread, the government finally acted. Hospital visitation was curtailed, senior care facilities were locked down, and schools were closed along with non-essential businesses.

Fast forward a year. 

Today, while we battle the third and most intense wave of the pandemic, hospital visitation is curtailed, senior care facilities are locked down, but schools are wide open along with most non-essential businesses. Despite our healthcare system being stressed to the max and the pandemic raging worse than ever, feel free to get your tattoos finished and your hair styled, but don’t even think about trying to get your 90 year old father’s 85 year old sister in for a visit with him one more time before his dementia robs him of his final memories of her.

Priorities. We sure have them straight. If it is not about my wallet, it does not rate in this province.

 

“We shall be better prepared for the future if we see how terrible, how doomed the present is.” — Iris Murdoch (1919 - 1999)

Milestones

My dad turned 90 years old this past week. It seems a little surreal, especially since he has been battling COPD for seven years. Dad was diagnosed the same time that Leonard Nimoy was and Leonard passed away in 2015 a year after his diagnosis. 

Continuing on a Star Trek theme, I found out that William Shatner turned 90 the week before my dad. William Shatner is in a lot better shape than my dad but William Shatner does not suffer from COPD. It does seem weird that Keith Richards seems to just get stronger as the years go by even though he smokes like a chimney. I have always believed my dad would pretty much have lived forever if he hadn’t smoked. I think they were talking about my dad when they came up with the quote: “If I had known I was going to live this long, I would have taken better care of myself.” I don’t know if Keith Richards will outlast my dad but it does seem likely at this point. Heck between Keith Richards and Chuck Norris, the smart money is on Keith Richards.

I haven’t seen my dad in person since last summer. COVID restrictions and the health of my daughter have made it almost impossible to make visitation a reality. We talk on the phone but that is not the same. I would be lying if I said the anti-maskers did not annoy me. If people were to respect the health guidelines set by the medical experts, the pandemic would be behind us and visitor restrictions would be lifted for my dad.

I am thinking this is the last Easter my dad will be alive for. Then again, I have been saying that for five years now so who knows. I just hope I am able to see him in person at least one more time before he moves on.

“Every new beginning comes from another beginning’s end.” - Seneca (54 BC - 39 BC)