Earning a Black Belt

Earning my black belt is the most significant accomplishment of my life. It was ego and testosterone that fueled my drive to acquire the skill to earn the rank. Somewhere along the way things changed. I became more interested in the mental discipline than the physical discipline. My eyes were opened to the world and Kung Fu permeated everything I touched and experienced. I am who I am because of Kung Fu.

The value of the black belt is found in what I had to accomplish to earn it. The key word is earn. That concept continues to be a difficult one for many of us in the west. We are used to buying things more than earning. Earning is for money and money is for buying things. I have had people approach earning their black belt as a just a matter of time proposition. You spend the time, you earn the rank. Fortunately, that is not how it happens. It is not the time that earns you the black belt, it is what you do with the time that does.

As an instructor entrusted with upholding the integrity of the rank of black belt, I have to be careful to ensure my students earn the rank. I am willing to do what I can to help them achieve the rank but I can only go so far. If I help them too much, they will not earn it. That is why, during their promotion ceremony, my black belts are never handed their black belts. The belt is placed before them and it is up to them to take it. I black belt is never given.

 “I learned the value of hard work by working hard.” - Margaret Mead (1901-1978)

Defining Authenticity

This is a time of year when my thoughts narrow and focus on the various ways we let mediocrity leach into our lives. When it comes to mastery, we all have a multitude of excuses why today is not a good day to train. We can find a multitude of reasons to justify taking a day off, which becomes a week off, which becomes a month off . . . When a student gives me a reason why their technique or form is not up to par, I always tell them to write it down and start a list. Down the road when they are wondering why they did not earn their black belt, they can just refer to the list.

Seth Godin wrote a fantastic blog about defining authenticity. He said:



For me, it's not "do what you feel like doing," because that's unlikely to be useful. 

You might feel like hanging out on the beach, telling off your boss or generally making nothing much of value. Authenticity as an impulse is hardly something to aspire to.

It's not, "say whatever is on your mind," either.

Instead, I define it as, "consistent emotional labor."

We call a brand or a person authentic when they're consistent, when they act the same way whether or not someone is looking. Someone is authentic when their actions are in alignment with what they promise.

Showing up as a pro.

Keeping promises.

Even when you don't feel like it.

Especially when you don't.



Wow, what Seth said.

“Real isn't how you are made,' said the Skin Horse. 'It's a thing that happens to you. When a child loves you for a long, long time, not just to play with, but REALLY loves you, then you become Real.'
'Does it hurt?' asked the Rabbit. 
'Sometimes,' said the Skin Horse, for he was always truthful. 'When you are Real you don't mind being hurt.' 
'Does it happen all at once, like being wound up,' he asked, 'or bit by bit?' 
'It doesn't happen all at once,' said the Skin Horse. 'You become. It takes a long time. That's why it doesn't happen often to people who break easily, or have sharp edges, or who have to be carefully kept. Generally, by the time you are Real, most of your hair has been loved off, and your eyes drop out and you get loose in the joints and very shabby. But these things don't matter at all, because once you are Real you can't be ugly, except to people who don't understand.” - Margery Williams Bianco, The Velveteen Rabbit (1881 - 1944)

A Choice

No, I do not have my head in the sand. My eyes are as open as my heart. There are many perspectives to a single conflict which means that what is is never exactly what is. It is what is, coloured by the sum of our experiences. Fear, hate, and prejudice are not the result of our experiences but rather how we have chosen to respond to those experiences.

I have not solved a single conflict in my life without empathy and compassion. Every punch I have thrown has resulted in punches being returned. Every insult has brought back the same. I do not require a degree in psychology to figure out how a person is likely to respond to specific actions before I actually take those actions. Asking myself how my actions/words are going to serve my goals before I take action has allowed me to avoid perpetuating a situation I would rather amend.

Today in Edmonton, we are experiencing the pain and suffering brought about by actions perpetrated by people who have long since left this world but whose greed and hate continue to resonate. How will we all react? We have a choice. Is it our goal to eliminate terrorism or is it to take our revenge for it? The two goals are mutually exclusive.

“Fear is another root of violence and terrorism. We terrorize others so that they will have no chance to terrorize us. We want to kill before we are killed. Instead of bringing us peace and safety, this escalates violence. lf we kill someone we call a terrorist, his son may become a terrorist. Throughout history, the more we kill, the more terrorists we create” - Thich Nhat Hanh (b. 1926)

Validation

My approach to planning and achieving goals is not compatible with the way of thinking of most people. I am not a linear thinker, nor are my thoughts readily verbalized. This method of mine has been the source of most of my success and, unfortunately, many of my conflicts. It is difficult to get a someone to support your strategy if you cannot explain your strategy in a way that can be understood. In my defence, I almost always get to where my vision is. The problem is I do not always get there the way I initially planned.

I met with someone this week that has a similar approach to his goals as I do - conflicts and all. He even used the term ‘lucky’ to describe many of his successes because of the roundabout method he had used to achieve them. Lucky is a term I use all the time to describe how I manage to arrive to be where I am at even though I never seem to get where I am going by taking the route I thought I would take. Yet I get there anyway because I remain flexible, adapting to changing situations. I still achieve my goals event if my initially planned path is no longer accessible.

Having my abstract approach to life validated by someone else was a welcome event. It reaffirms the efficacy of my strategy while reminding me of the need to continue to hone my vocabulary to minimize the inevitable conflicts that this approach can provoke.

“Intuition is a very powerful thing, more powerful than intellect.” - Steve Jobs (1955 - 2011)

Choices

What makes me want to get up and go in the mornings? I had someone ask me that question this week. It took no effort or thought to answer. "Because I see opportunity in every moment of every day. I remind myself of all the chance meetings and experiences that have happened to me and have defined me. They were not planned nor were they expected. They happened because I created the opportunity for myself by getting up and choosing to engage." 

Choice is something available to everyone. Success is a whole lot easier when you recognize the choices that are available and the power that resides in making the correct choice. I can choose to engage or I can choose to withdraw. I can choose to see opportunity in a challenge over an excuse to quit. I can choose to interpret honest comment as assistance instead of a personal affront. I can choose to self talk positively instead of negatively. I can choose mindful action over unconscious distraction. I can choose to carry on or I can choose to quit.

Choices resonate for a lifetime. Choices define us.

"Our lives are a sum total of the choices we have made." - Wayne Dyer (1940 - 2015) Journal

Run For Life

It was not our most perfect lion dance but it was one that I will never forget. The best lion dances are always the ones where things do not go as planned. Today's issue was a detached body cloth. We had damaged the cloth during our Canada Day dance and forgot to repair it. Of course we have a fleet of lions we could have used today but we chose the one with the forgotten damage. Challenges like that test the mettle of a lion dance team. Today's challenge was an opportunity for Kobe to show how far his lion dancing has evolved. His adaptation to the situation was masterful and he established today as one of my favourite lion dances ever. Check out CTV Edmonton's newscast tonight to see what happened.

More importantly, our lion dance today was to support Stony Plain's Suicide Prevention Hotline as we do every year. It was an emotional day as we lost the individual who originally got us involved with this event to suicide a couple of months ago. Mental illness affects us all yet the stigma associated with it continues to prevail.

I am grateful to have been able to share today with people who are so important to me. Life is short and life is fragile.

“Little Fly 
Thy summers play, 
My thoughtless hand 
Has brush'd away. 

Am not I 
A fly like thee? 
Or art not thou 
A man like me? 

For I dance 
And drink and sing,
Till some blind hand
Shall brush my wing.

If thought is life 
And strength and breath,
And the want 
Of thought is death,

Then am I
A happy fly,
If I live,
Or if I die”

 ― William Blake, Songs of Innocence and of Experience (1757 - 1827)

Sifu Kevin Lindstrom

Our back to school week is behind us and so is another successful kwoon maintenance project. Once again our leader this year was Sifu Kevin Lindstrom. Kevin got us organized and accomplished everything we set out to accomplish, plus some stuff we hadn’t planned on tackling. There were so many people that went above and beyond this year but I am singling out Kevin Lindstrom because his approach to his extra-curricular kung fu activities is a textbook example of how to make the most of the opportunities you are given.

When Kevin started learning lion dance, he wasn’t too engaged or interested. It did not take long before he recognized the value the lion dance brought to his kung fu. His stamina improved, so did his strength. That translated to better form and power. Kevin is now a passionate ambassador for the lion dance team.

When it comes to extra-curricular activities at the kwoon, Kevin shines best during maintenance week. Kevin’s blood and sweat are in every wall of the kwoon. He takes ownership for his kwoon and it shows in his kung fu. Every year that Kevin has led our annual maintenance, his engagement level in his kung fu is at a peak. That is no coincidence. The extra effort Kevin puts into these projects pays him dividends toward his training. That is why he sees these projects as opportunities, not responsibilities.

Thank you Sifu Kevin Lindstrom. The example you set for the rest of us is recognized and appreciated.

“Opportunity is missed by most people because it is dressed in overalls and looks like work.” - Thomas Edison (1847 - 1931)