Ego

“To the untrained eye ego-climbing and selfless climbing may appear identical. Both kinds of climbers place one foot in front of the other. Both breathe in and out at the same rate. Both stop when tired. Both go forward when rested. But what a difference! The ego-climber is like an instrument that’s out of adjustment. He puts his foot down an instant too soon or too late. He’s likely to miss a beautiful passage of sunlight through the trees. He goes on when the sloppiness of his step shows he’s tired. He rests at odd times. He looks up the trail trying to see what’s ahead even when he knows what’s ahead because he just looked a second before. He goes too fast or too slow for the conditions and when he talks his talk is forever about somewhere else, something else. He’s here but he’s not here. He rejects the here, he’s unhappy with it, wants to be farther up the trail but when he gets there will be just as unhappy because then it will be “here”. What he’s looking for, what he wants, is all around him, but he doesn’t want that because it is all around him. Every step’s an effort, both physically and spiritually, because he imagines his goal to be external and distant.” - Robert Pirsig, Zen and the Art of Motorcycle Maintenance.

When I look at any problem or mental limitation that I have, I see the presence of my ego interfering with my best intentions. This is even more true when it comes to resisting change. It is not as if I don’t spend a lot of time meditating about this concept. I know that change is inevitable. Despite this I still see my ego darting around with cunning and vigor, contaminating my thoughts and limiting my growth.

Aging is not an easy concept to banish one’s ego from weighing in. Cosmetic surgery, hair colouring, Botox — heck even the clothes we wear strongly indicate that our ego is alive and well. What we don’t always recognize is how much our ego can undermine our confidence and sabotage opportunities. Sometimes we are trying so hard to hold on to who we used to be that we cannot become all we could be.

Life is short. Proceed boldly.

“If one advances confidently in the direction of his dreams, and endeavors to live the life which he has imagined, he will meet with a success unexpected in common hours.” - Henry David Thoreau (1817 - 1862)