Anger Management

Managing anger is possibly the most overlooked component of self defence training. The keyword here is ‘management’. Anger is a normal emotion that exists to organize and mobilize our bodily systems to respond to our current environment. Emotions in the anger family are a survival mechanism in the brain that are hardwired to help protect us from danger.

Emotions, like anger, are regulated by the limbic system. Within the limbic system is the amygdala where emotional memories are stored. This is why we may experience anger that is actually caused by a mixture of what is happening now and the experiences in our pasts. Old anger is activated by the brain to protect us. Neuroscientists call this implicit memory, meaning we can experience the effects of a memory without even realizing it.

Anger expression is a behaviour that, like all behaviour, has a purpose. When we get angry we are usually trying to accomplish some goal. The problem is that anger is rarely effective in getting us what we want and most of the time it actually makes things worse.

Anger can be positive. We all know of people who have a perpetual positive facade, repeating “Have a great day!”as their credo, yet their facade breaks down at the most inappropriate times for insignificant transgressions. Maintaining a facade and not showing anger is not managing anger, only suppressing it. Anger is a healthy release. It takes an enormous amount of energy to hold anger inside. Releasing it appropriately helps reduce stress and build healthier relationships.

Simply put, we have an emotional area of the brain and a thinking area of the brain. It is up to our frontal lobes, the thinking area, to rationally deal with the anger that the limbic system has set in motion. As thinking, reasoning beings, we have the unique ability among the species to have options in how we choose to deal with our anger. It is all about properly managing our anger, not eliminating it. Anger is a normal, healthy response to a situation. Our chosen response to that anger is not always normal, nor is it always healthy. In fact, our response might actually be the difference between life and death. This is why anger management skills are such an important part of self defence.

“Holding on to anger is like grasping a hot coal with the intent of throwing it at someone else; you are the one who gets burned. “ - Buddha