Zen and the Art of Mindful Acceptance

The Year of the Rat has arrived and with it; all the stress and responsibility that is part of practicing a Chinese martial art at this time of year. Celebrations must be attended, lion dances must be performed, and for the grand finale - the culmination of our annual black belt grading that began in October takes place at our annual Chinese New Year banquet this Saturday.

At times like these, I am truly grateful for the gift of kung fu and the Chán mindset it has given me. This mindful acceptance has allowed me to compartmentalize my stress and stay in the now. I have not even been aware of a strategy that has helped me achieve this mindset so I devoted some time and effort in analyzing my methods to see if I could come up with an outline of approach that can be documented.

Stress is generated by our thoughts and our interpretation of events. Our minds are dominated by thoughts regarding the past, the present, or the future.

While it is important to think about and learn from the past, it has already happened so we shouldn’t be agonizing over it. To benefit from our past, we should analyze it, learn from it, and then move on.

The future is something we can influence but cannot control. Over analyzing our goals and predictions can generate stress because there is so much of our future that is completely beyond our control. Planning and setting goals is important but it is also important that we are flexible and adaptable enough so that we can handle all the curve balls that life throws at us.

Focusing on the present allows us to adapt to change and influence our future. The present is the only time that we can actually address and reduce the stress in our lives. The past is gone and cannot be changed. Relying on the future is only procrastinating. The future will be defined by what we do in the present.

After a little self analysis, I realized that I continuously apply three techniques to help me remain in the moment and make the most of the present:

Technique 1 - Strive for Personal Enlightenment and Self Realization.
By analyzing my motives and my emotions, I ensure I am always being honest with myself. The ability to look yourself in the mirror and see yourself completely for what you are is very liberating and provides you with better control of your emotions and insecurities. A person with complete awareness of the hows and whys of the way they feel does not have to spend a lot of time repairing relationships or situations damaged by the mistakes of their past.

Technique 2 - Apply Empathy.
I try to qualify people’s words and actions with their own personal situation. By empathizing with those around me, I find myself much more capable of positively handling any conflict that may arise. Because I am seeing things from their point of view, it is much easier for me to understand and alleviate their concerns. If you are totally focused on the people you are dealing with, it is easier to stay in the moment and keep all your own personal issues and stresses from influencing and perhaps sabotaging the relationship.

Technique 3 - Accept Accountability.
I try to hold myself accountable for everything that happens in my life - both positive and negative. By holding myself accountable I feel empowered to affect change whenever it is needed. I don’t rely upon some unseen event in the future to miraculously solve my problems, I make decisions in the here and now that go a long way to mould my future into something I value.

By holding myself accountable for my past, I eliminate the stress that comes from dwelling about regrets of the past that can dominate my thoughts when my life feels out of control. If I am accountable then I have control to make the changes necessary to avoid repeating the same problems over and over. Without accountability, I am at the mercy of fate.

Those who have been reading my posts from the past will notice that I have also identified enlightenment, empathy, and accountability as my steps to empowerment in making change. Obviously there is more to these three factors than I realized. That’s the great thing about journaling - there is so much locked away in our minds that can make a huge difference in our lives if we were only able to organize and apply what we already unconsciously know.

“The meeting of two eternities, the past and future....is precisely the present moment.”
- Henry David Thoreau (1817 - 1862)