Defining Moments

I have always tried to surround myself with positive people and influences, and this is the atmosphere I strive to maintain for my students at Silent River Kung Fu. I cannot control everything that goes on in the change rooms or outside of class so the battle to keep students focused on the positive impact of their training is constant and relentless. Negativity is systematically contagious and if left unchecked, spreads like cancer.

Running a kung fu school of 270 students is as much about dealing with politics of personality as it is teaching the art. Push a student too hard and they may not be able to see the struggle to the next level as being feasible. Don’t push a student hard enough and the lack of challenge can create indifference in their training. Spend extra time helping this student in crisis and risk alienating that student who only sees favoritism.

Managing the diverse personalities in a school can be overwhelming and sometimes frustrating. I have to admit that at times I question why I do what I do. It would be so much easier just to train for myself and leave it at that. This is why I always keep my life’s defining moments in front of me. My life has been blessed with many - my first perfect throw, the day I met Master Macdonald, a life altering phone call, using my chi to heal for the first time. In times of crisis there have been many more defining moments that have helped me put things in a perspective such that I can draw strength to push on and remind myself that I am making a difference.

Earlier this year an incident took place that has become a defining moment. This incident has changed my life, and perhaps through my influence, will change the lives of many more.

I had just spent two stressful hours on the telephone with a friend who has been struggling with life for a while. This day was an especially trying day for him and I had done my best to help him with his perspective. My friend’s personality is such that he continually questions his self worth and what his purpose is in this life. I have to admit that on this day he had almost convinced me of his perspective and I found myself questioning many things, especially the big ‘Why?’. After ending our conversation as positively as possible, I headed off to teach my first class of the day.

I love riding my motorcycle and the peaceful solitude it provides. Ironically, this day it afforded me ample opportunity to spend my solitude reflecting upon my friend’s situation . This only served to deepen my despondent mood. This was when I noticed a little boy in the back seat of the car adjacent to me. The boy was intently watching me, obviously fascinated with the motorcycle. I looked over and made eye contact with him. That is when I realized he had Down’s Syndrome. As he continued to stare, I waved to him. The most beautiful and perfect smile appeared upon his face. It was as if I had been touched by an angel and a wave of emotion washed over me. Despite the stressful ordeal of my day, I felt totally rejuvenated.

Here was a boy given a lot in life wrought with disadvantages I will never experience. Yet this handicapped boy, with no extraordinary effort on his part, had shaken my world. He showed me that something simple and personal can have a ripple effect that transforms reality. I realized that this young boy’s influence had changed my perspective and eliminated all the doubt and pessimism that had invaded my psyche throughout the day. If I took this positive energy and passed it on to my friend, it could literally change his life.

So yes, thanks to this defining moment, I will always see how and where I make a difference. All of this brought about by the smile of a small, handicapped boy. I can only imagine the awesome potential each and everyone of us possess.

"How wonderful it is that nobody need wait a single moment before starting to improve the world."
- Anne Frank (1929 - 1945)