Thich Nhat Hanh

I have had the privilege of studying under some amazing teachers in my lifetime. None has contributed more to my moral fibre and value system than Zen master Thich Nhat Hanh. They say a teacher such as he only comes by once every six hundred years. The sheer miracle that I have had the privilege and opportunity to share so much of my time on earth with someone such as he is not something I take for granted. It is difficult for me to imagine a world without him in it.

Thay, my wish is for your speedy and complete recovery. I understand that sickness and death are a certainty for each of us but the planet is in desperate need of more like you.

"Life has left her footprints on my forehead. But I have become a child again this morning. The smile, seen through leaves and flowers, is back to smooth away the wrinkles, as the rains wipe away footprints on the beach. Again a cycle of birth and death begins."- Thich Nhat Hanh (b. 1926)

Final UBBT

The honour of being part of the last official UBBT team is dubious at best. While the legacy of the Ultimate Black Belt Test will live on through the UBBT alumni and their students, it was under our watch that the plug was pulled.

Mastery is a process, a long process. It’s about turning the wheel a couple of degrees and making sustainable changes that, over time, lead to permanent transformation. Hindsight is always 20/20 and from my perspective it is clear where we failed to give the UBBT the relevance it deserved. 

Journalling. I believe it is as simple as that. If our journalling is not consistent, public, and most importantly defining our journey, then our journey brings no relevance back to the UBBT. “If a tree falls in a forest and no one is around to hear it, does it make a sound?”

Under our watch a lot of trees were chopped down but I am thinking many were not heard. There should be a story behind all that clear cutting and I wish I would have contributed to a clearer story being told. The Ultimate Black Belt Test is the single most powerful transformation tool I have come across. The UBBT process is reclaiming what it means to be a martial artist and it is defining the relevance of our craft.

The UBBT will continue to resonate in my school through my student team enrolled in our I Ho Chuan program. Our current Year of the Dragon team just turned a major corner in their journey and our Year of the Snake team is already tooling up and preparing for their February start. There may not be a UBBT 10 in the immediate future, but the ripples continue on.

“The Ultimate Black Belt Test is a hero's journey—exodus, epiphany, and return—and passing it requires a physical, mental, and spiritual transformation that will make people stand up and take notice.” - Tom Callos

Why Journal?

Journalling for me has never been an easy task. I watch people fall off the journalling wagon every week as they struggle to find something pertinent to write. I myself have struggled hard over the last two years to find some direction in my journalling.  Five years ago my journal initially began as a method to organize my ideas as they pertain to my kung fu. The opportunity and responsibility that earning a black belt brings to a person’s life creates a vortex where ideas, emotions, values, and yes, ego, combine into this intellectual primordial ooze just waiting to be catalogued and recorded. As I kept up with my weekly journalling over the years, my sense of responsibility for the state of the world continued to colour my postings. I found myself drawn into political debates over environmental and foreign policy issues despite never being politically affiliated or inclined. The evolution of my postings were reflecting my own personal evolution. I now realize that this personal evolution would never have taken place if I hadn’t first taken the initiative and begin journalling.

So why has journalling been such a struggle over these past couple of years? I think part of my problem lies in my schizophrenic approach to my journal. I try to make my postings pertinent to my personal convictions, my role as a teacher, and my contribution to the Ultimate Black Belt Test. In my attempt to address all three roles, I tend to not serve any single one of them very well. This has caused me to question the value of my journal.

I struggle to find focus and purpose in my writing and I question the value of my writing. So why do I continue? I think I answered that myself in my first paragraph - I have evolved because of my journalling. I not only care about the problems of the world but I now have a better understanding of why the problems exist, what we’re doing to exasperate the problems, and what I can do to be part of the solution. I am a better, more humble, and more cognizant human being because of what I have learned through my journalling.

Journalling is a tool. It can serve you or you can serve it. These past two years I have been serving my journal. I need to reclaim the process as a tool so it starts to serve me again. The first step is to remind myself that if my journal is serving me it will also serve my students and the UBBT. I need to write for me.
     

“What is a diary as a rule? A document useful to the person who keeps it. Dull to the contemporary who reads it and invaluable to the student, centuries afterwards, who treasures it.” - Sir Walter Scott (1771 - 1832)

Why I Journal

A photograph captures a moment in time. It can show every physical thing about a person in that particular moment but it cannot show what is in the heart. What you were doing, where, and with whom is forever recorded but what you were thinking while you were experiencing that moment can only be accurately recalled through journalling.

Mastery is a process in transformation. Once the transformation is complete, a different person emerges out of the journey. That person has a new way of thinking and the confidence that comes from accomplishment. Mastery is a process, not a destination. The path is different and unique for everyone. If one wishes to help others along their own path to mastery, or if one wishes to be able to repeat and improve the process, recording the journey is critical.

Journalling is the breadcrumbs one leaves behind so that their path to mastery is defined and thus repeatable. The greater the distance between the breadcrumbs the more difficult it is to derive the path one took. There is a reason why those who journal consistently find more value in journalling than those who do not.

“After the writer's death, reading his journal is like receiving a long letter.” - Jean Cocteau (1889 - 1963)

I Ate What?

Throughout my life I have always been reminded of my mortality by the accumulation of years. Double my age and compare that number to people who are at that age and I have a benchmark of what I can expect. I can remember when I considered the age of 30 as old. My view of 30 was defined by people whose best years were behind them. They had peaked in school and now were living the routine: get up, go to work, come home, eat supper, watch some TV, go to bed - repeat.

Kung fu has allowed me to literally preserve my youth. I feel like I am in the same shape and condition now with the same mental outlook as when I was in high school. I am always looking ahead and I am excited about the prospects the future holds.

Lately I have begun to notice that my perspective of my mortality has shifted. I haven’t been predicting the quality of time I have left by doubling my age, I have been basing my mortality assessment by what I perceive to be our society’s inevitable demise. How much longer can the earth sustain our present consumption rate of her resources? As a large portion of the earth’s population is starving, the rest of us continue to waste and consume in an effort to sustain the unsustainable.

With that in mind, my Student UBBT Team has begun a project for the month of August. We will be documenting everything we eat this month in a group journal. I believe the project will make us all more mindful of what we put into our bodies and the impact our choices have on the planet. This will lead to positive, permanent lifestyle changes for many of us. My hope is that the public nature of the project will create a greater awareness for everyone who reads it and maybe, just maybe, the seeds of change will have been planted.

“You may never know what results come of your action, but if you do nothing there will be no result” - Mahatma Gandhi (1869 - 1948)

Beagles Love Blueberries

I'm one month into my second consecutive Ultimate Black Belt Test and am starting to find my stride. You would think that continuing on from UBBT 6 into the Live Project would be a natural flow but the transition has been surprisingly challenging. The rhythm I maintained throughout UBBT 6 that helped me succeed is not quite what I need in to achieve my UBBT 7 goals. Once again I am expanding my comfort zone and adjusting to the situation.

There are some things I learned in UBBT 6 that are going to help me make even more personal progress in UBBT 7.

- 1000 reps of anything is a lot.
- A Canadian traveling to Alabama during winter tends to sunburn.
- 12 months is a lot shorter period of time than one thinks.
- Watching Master McNeill swat someone in the shin with a cane is infinitely more entertaining than receiving the swat yourself.
- A team is only as strong as its weakest link.
- I’m lazier than I thought.
- Nothing is for free.
- Journalling and tracking your progress is an important key that reinforces the process.
- Getting enough protein as a vegetarian takes careful planning.
- Doing anything with a group is a lot more motivating than doing it alone.
- Walking meditation with 300 strangers can be intensely intimate.
- Sitting meditation with swollen knees can be intensely painful.
- All the planning and intentions in the world are not worth a hill of beans if you do not take consistent action.
- 87 kilograms is a good fighting weight for me but 84 kilograms would be better for my knees.
- Sometimes listening can show more leadership than speaking.
- Getting and receiving feedback from your teammates strengthens the bonds of the team.
- It is never too late to apply mastery.

"Each painting has its own way of evolving. When the painting is finished, the subject reaveals itself." - William Baziotes (1912 - 1963)

I Am Project - Disciplined

A requirement of all my black belts and black belt candidates is weekly journalling. I have learned over the years that writing out my thoughts helps me organize my mind and give me insight into my faults and motivations. It is a tool that I encourage all my students to use.

Sometimes it can be difficult to concentrate or even organize my thoughts to the degree required to actually record them in some sort of comprehensible manner. At times like that it is easy to put off my journalling efforts until gumption, opportunity, and inspiration happen to intersect. Without structure and discipline it is easy to fall behind and let time slip by without even noticing I am not fulfilling my commitment to myself until it is too late. To top it off, if I do not journal I am not completely reflecting upon my motivations and actions and thus I tend to react to things in my life without truly understanding the situation that I am reacting to. Makes for hasty decisions and bad choices.

My first trip to Alabama was a real eye opener for me concerning the value of structure. It had been a long time since I had experienced a prolonged situation where my time was structured to such a degree. I really excelled with this imposed structure and I felt more focus and thus experienced more efficiency than I had for years. This gave me insight to the value of discipline in my journalling.

Since I do not have complete control of my gumption or inspiration, it is important for me to exploit the one thing I can control - opportunity. Sunday is my down time, I know that at some point during the day I will have the time and opportunity to journal. If I am disciplined and adhere to the structure of journalling every Sunday, whether or not I have anything to express (like today for instance), I will fulfill my weekly journalling goal and further imprint the discipline of journalling upon my weekly structure.

I know it provides comfort to me when I read my UBBT teammates’ journals. What they write is not as important to me as the fact that they did take the time to write. There is something soothing about knowing they’re out there and traveling on the same path as me.

“He that cannot obey, cannot command.” - Benjamin Franklin (1706 - 1790)

Activism Revisited

I have been a staunch environmentalist and a peace advocate for my entire life. Long before we reached our current dire global state, I have been recycling and reducing, consuming conscientiously, financially supporting environmental groups, and losing my share of sleep over the state of the world. I have never been radical or extreme in presenting my views but I have always felt that my values have been adequately expressed and endorsed within my school through our many community projects and comprehensive curriculum. I was wrong. I am bewildered and humbled by the number of my students who read my blog and are interpreting my documented opinions as newfound. After over twenty years of teaching my art, how can these values not be obvious to my students?

Before writing that first blog post last November, I was so oblique in expressing my views and values in class that the relevance to their training was completely missed by many of my students. Somewhere along the journey, I lost my way. Activism is the key. All the thought in the world is not worth a hill of beans if it is not acted upon. I have been too passive when expressing my passion.

Chalk up clarity as another added benefit of my journaling efforts.

“Conviction is worthless unless it is converted into conduct.”
- Thomas Carlyle ( 1795 - 1881)

Rural Studio

I’m thinking I have about three more weeks of healing before I can start to tax my knee. I experimented a little with forms this weekend and found I still can’t transfer my weight properly so flow and power are way off. What I hadn’t anticipated with this surgery is its impact on my ability to perform push ups. The pressure in the knee is preventing me from using the leg that way without consequences. As usual I didn’t listen to my body so the swelling is a little worse than it has been so I am going to have to bite the bullet and wait. It’s already been almost three months of waiting and patience isn’t one of my virtues when it comes to healing. I always teach my students the value of patience, trust, and progressing wisely but I can’t seem to master that myself.

Three more days before I leave to take part in the Alabama Project. I am pretty excited but at the same time I am somewhat anxious over the whole experience. When I read Rural Studio, I was struck by the comments from Samuel Mockbee’s architecture students. They all mentioned how the experience removed the abstraction of poverty and replaced it with an awareness that they had never experienced.

For me this project is a frightening step. One of my biggest strengths has been my ability to compartmentalize my life so that I can handle extraordinary amounts of stress. I believe this ability has been fueled by the fact that my mind tends to mainly operate at an abstract level with very little linear or comprehensive thoughts coming to the surface until they have been already worked out at the abstract level. Journalling has forced me to bring many of these abstractions to the forefront of my mind so that I can document them. The experience has been wonderful. I have accomplished more in the past few months at a personal level than I have for the past few years. Rather than just thinking about things, I am putting my thoughts into action. I feel a sense of resolve and certainty that has been absent for a long time. However, as with everything else, nothing is for free. By putting all my thoughts down and laying them out, I am now forced to address the murmurs of my soul. The murmurs that as of late seem to be evolving into maniacal screams. I am now painfully aware of the oh so many missed opportunities to make a difference. At times the guilt can be overwhelming. Now I am involved with a project that promises to properly define yet another abstraction. Oh joy.

I can’t say enough about the Alabama project. The people involved are truly extraordinary and to be part of this is a real privilege. I can only imagine what could happen and what potential could be realized if the 100. were to have the support and the funding to truly spread its wings. 100 martial arts masters across the globe with hundreds of students each, all vigilant, committed, and ready to mobilize for a single cause. Wow, goosebumps. This is one opportunity we can’t afford to miss.

“At the studio I learned that economic poverty is not a poverty of values but a fact of birth. You come to realize it’s the luck of the draw that you don’t end up poor. You learn poor people are like you and me. You get to know them and respect them.”
- Bruce Lanier (Rural Studio Architecture Student Graduate - 2000)

Unhealthy Competition

Typically, competition can be a great motivator to help push a person to a higher level. Nothing like feeling the breath of an adversary on the back of your neck to motivate you to dig deeper and drive forward. However one of the biggest challenges I face as an instructor is keeping the competitive nature of my students healthy and positive. So many lose motivation and become discouraged when they compare themselves and believe they are not progressing as rapidly as their peers. Some question their self worth while others become bitter and direct their animosity toward their peers and their instructors. In this state a student is trapped in a cycle of progress paralysis - a self perpetuating attitude that promotes inertia by justifying mediocre results without accepting responsibility.

I use several techniques to maintain a positive attitude and avoid progress paralysis.

Celebrate Personal Victories
I end every day by meditating and reviewing the events of my day. Every day is filled with accomplishments, progress, and opportunities. These gifts can become lost if one does not take the time to reflect upon them - especially when a day has also been filled with stress and challenges. Taking the time to be thankful for your victories keeps things in perspective because sometimes we spend too much time looking at where we want to be rather than looking at how far we have come.

Congratulate Others
I make a habit of congratulating others on their progress and accomplishments. Unhealthy competition is promoted when others’ accomplishments are viewed as a negative reflection of your own accomplishments. Positively acknowledging the accomplishments of your peers reminds you that personal growth is accomplished through personal effort, not by the success or failure of someone else. This technique helps you stay accountable by keeping your own progress personal, independent, and within the realm of your control

Keep a Journal
Documenting your goals and accomplishments creates an accurate perspective that helps maintain focus on what is important for growth. Logging your daily progress establishes healthy competition within oneself and motivates one to push beyond the arbitrary limits we set for ourselves.

Double Your Failure Rate
People who unhealthily compete tend to not venture beyond their comfort zone or their current skill set. Fear of losing or embarrassment motivates people to stick to what they are good at and therefore limit growth and improvement. If one embraces change and accepts failure as a natural temporary result of effort, new tools and skills are acquired and focus returns to the challenge competing with oneself.

Kung fu’s ultimate goal is self improvement. If one keeps that goal in front of them it becomes apparent that competing with another contradicts your ultimate objective. The only person you must surpass is the person you were when you woke up this morning.

Live daringly, boldly, fearlessly. Taste the relish to be found in competition -- in having put forth the best within you.
- Henry J. Kaiser (1882 - 1967)

Out of the Kwoon and Into the World

Today begins the second month of this online journal. Upon reflection, this project has not travelled in the direction I had anticipated. My reason for starting this was simple. Accountability. I envisioned this blog as a tool to hold myself accountable for achieving the goals and standards I have set for myself.

I have several plans and goals in the works at any given point of time but I have no deadlines. I never stop striving to achieve my goals but because I keep adding new goals, my attention and focus are constantly in flux. My progress on any specific path tends to be slow. I find myself trapped in the perpetual cycle of addressing one crisis or another and having to concentrate on whatever the immediate priorities these crises define. Most often these immediate priorities are only that - immediate. They have no long term benefit or consequence, they only require my immediate attention because they are time sensitive. Most time sensitive priorities only evolve into such due to procrastination. I found myself continually dealing with minor crises that had become my number one priority due to neglect rather than making any progress on truly important, less time sensitive initiatives. This journal was to help keep me focused on my important pillar shaking goals and values. By publicly disclosing them, I am now accountable for results or the lack of results. Public scrutiny can be a great focus motivator.

Now a month into this project I have come to realize that the benefits I am realizing go way beyond what I had expected. Yes I am more focused on the important issues because of their public declaration but I am also considerably more efficient. By documenting my thoughts I have been forced to organize them into a linear stream as opposed to the standard abstract chaotic pie in the sky mishmash that is usually bouncing around my skull like a pinball. I have been able to apply this newfound focus to my students and give them tangible tools to help them get maximum benefit from their training. Our new motto “Out of the Kwoon and into the world” is only words without substance unless we actually give people the means to put this philosophy into action.

That is the crux of it all - translating words into tangible actions that produce empirical results. There is a world of difference between doing what you want to do and doing what you need to do. Beyond accountability, this blog is initiating the development of the strategies and tools I require to help organize my words into action and ensure I continually challenge myself to notice the difference between the want to do’s and the need to do’s in my life.

"If you do what you need to do when you need to do it, then someday you can do what you want to do when you want to do it."
- Jimmy John's Sandwich Shop