Positive Cycles

Something I wrote for a student struggling to find the time to train . . . 

Everyday we are all faced with decisions. Sometimes success is only a positive decision away. It is a lot easier to make a positive decision when you have clarity in your goals. Why are you studying kung fu? Obviously you have spent years practicing it for a reason. If that reason is empowerment, then you already know that there are benefits to all aspects of your life when you train in kung fu. If your training is benefitting all aspects of your life, how can cutting kung fu to focus on other aspects of your life even make sense? 

You have separated your kung fu from your life to the point where it may have already just become yet another stressor. If your training is relegated to "When I have time", there really is no future in the art for you until that perspective/priority changes.

Think about your diet. Very few of us eat clean. We rush about our day sometimes only feeding ourselves with what is handy and convenient instead of mindfully consuming food that nurtures us. Yet when we consistently clean up our diet, we feel the immediate benefits - clarity of thought and reduction of stress. Those benefits give us more time to mindfully prepare our future meals. The cycle has now become self-perpetuating - in a positive way.

At the same time, it does not take much to let things slide. A day here and a day there where, in a weak moment, we let down our guard and eat something we know is not good for us but it is more convenient. Our clarity begins to erode and is not so clear, our thoughts not so efficient, and our stress begins to build. Once again this cycle now becomes self-perpetuating - in a negative way.

If you want to stay on a positive cycle, STAY ON A POSITIVE CYCLE! It really is that simple. If you want to get on a positive cycle, GET ON A POSITIVE CYCLE! That too is really that simple. There is no magic to earning a black belt. Train. If you do not want to train? Train! Positive cycles do not just randomly start. You need to make the correct decisions - one at a time, every time.

“Yesterday is not ours to recover, but tomorrow is ours to win or lose.” - Lyndon B. Johnson (1908 - 1973)

Beliefs and Behaviours

It is unfortunate that our actions do not always reflect our values. It is never a simple matter to fully understand where our true values lay yet most of us are quite adamant about what we believe in and hold to be true. Yet if one were to analyze their daily actions, they would soon realize how much hypocrisy has crept into their lives.

If you are an advocate for animal rights and are against animal cruelty but purchase products that are tested on lab animals, you are actually supporting animal cruelty, not fighting against it.

Perhaps your real values are about money, not animal rights. Or maybe life has become so hectic that you are unable to make mindful decisions. At this point you either have to admit that your values are not what you thought they were or that you are a hypocrite.

With all the divisive political rhetoric out here, reconciliation is going to be difficult unless everyone first understands themselves and their actions. The problem is not the destructive behaviour out here, the problem is the the lack of mindfulness. Behaviour will never change unless there is clarity in action. Knowing why we do things is the fundamental foundation of positive change.

“Voting is not something that we do only once every four years; it’s a daily way of life. We vote with our wallets through every purchase decision that we make. For example: there is only one reason why grocery stores in Hawaii sell mangoes that are imported from Ecuador: people keep buying them. Tropical fruit grows right here on the island but we can’t blame the stores for supplying what we demand. If we change our ways and only buy local mangoes, however, then they will only sell local mangoes; it’s that simple.” - Timber Hawkeye (b. 1977)

6th Wave

We have had to make some changes at our school to address the sixth wave of the pandemic. We launched our endemic plan a few months ago but the current situation here, on the third year of the current pandemic, is the worst it has ever been.

The real problem we are facing right now has been endemic throughout the COVID-19 pandemic. Suspending all restrictions during a significant infection wave of a three year pandemic is why we are here. The problem is lack of leadership. This lack of leadership though is no longer the fault of the UCP government, that fault lies squarely on each of our shoulders. 

We all have the right to forgo masks and isolation at the expense of every vulnerable and immune-compromised citizen. Unfortunately we also have the right to suspend the use of common sense:

• People not considering the incubation period of COVID-19 before the onset of symptoms. 
• People not understanding that they are contagious for two days prior to showing symptoms. 
• People not understanding the limitations of a rapid test and the likelihood of testing negative, despite being symptomatic, for days before finally getting a positive confirmation of COVID. 

All of those factors are fueling the current pandemic wave because people are not isolating after a known exposure. The majority of us are waiting until the onset of symptoms or worse yet, a positive rapid test confirmation before isolating. Under those conditions, you have already spread the virus before you even knew you were infected. You’re closing the barn door after the cows have got out.

“Common sense is not so common.” - Voltaire (1694 - 1778)

Grounding

“It is in my nature to grow old. It is in my nature to get sick. It is in my nature to die. “

I repeat and reinforce this affirmation as part of my daily meditation practice. It never hurts to kickstart my day with a solid dose of reality to fuel my motivation to maximize the possibility of the present moment.

There is no work. It is all play.

“This is the real secret of life — to be completely engaged with what you are doing in the here and now. And instead of calling it work, realize it is play.” - Allan Watts (1915 - 1973)

Victim or Hero

We all are goal-orientated to some degree. Society has evolved to the point where we spend at least eight hours per day earning a living to put food on the table, another eight hours asleep, and around three more hours eating. That leaves five hours left in a day to accomplish anything personal beyond these basics. When you consider how much time the average person spends in front of a television set or computer screen, having and following a plan to achieve your goals is almost a necessity. 

The busyness of our lives is guaranteed but all the activity generated by our busyness does not necessarily result in the achievement of our goals. Without discipline and focus, time slips away and with it, so does opportunity.

We can’t control the busyness embedded in our lifestyle so learning how to maximize the few hours we have available to achieve our personal goals is imperative if we wish to be successful.

Ultimately, time is the only commodity that has true value. Time is finite and none of us have any guarantee as to how much time we have. Maximizing what we do with the time we have available is the best way to achieve your goals.

The only way to maximize your time is to live in the present moment. Unless you are living in the present moment, your future is random. Tomorrow is determined by what you do today. Action or inaction will set your future. Action gives you control, inaction relinquishes your control. Action can make you the hero of your future, inaction can make you the victim of your past.

“No valid plans for the future can be made by those who have no capacity for living now.” - Alan Watts (1915 - 1973)

The Art of the Question

As a teacher I am aware that when I answer a student’s question, there is a chance that the student may not use my answer in the way in which I had intended. I used to overcompensate for this possibility by over-explaining my answers in an attempt to ensure the intent of my answers were understood by my students. Thirty years of experience has shown me that the intent behind my answer is irrelevant when compared to the intent behind the question.

Experience with divisive politics, and even the pandemic, shows us that people rarely ask a question without already being invested in their own opinion. People are not always looking for the answer, more often than not, they are looking for a specific answer and they structure their question in such a way to help funnel the answer toward their agenda.

Ego is not the friend of the truth, education, or mindful living. The truth is out there and so is the knowledge you seek. You just need to make sure that your intent is to acquire knowledge and truth, not just an answer.

“People are very open-minded about new things - as long as they're exactly like the old ones.” - Charles Kettering (1876 - 1958)

SLAP SLAP SLAP SLAP SLAP SLAP SLAP

We’re going on to the third year of the COVID pandemic, Quebec has started a new wave of infections, Ontario’s waste water analysis is also indicating an imminent surge, and there are still people who do not seem to understand the seriousness of the situation. 

There is a lot emotion that goes into a person’s world view. The main weapon we have at our disposal in controlling those emotions is knowledge and understanding. We have the power of reasoning available to us and the intellect, for the most part, to understand the concepts of cause and effect, as well as the ability to reason out that freedom and rights come with significant responsibility.

My personal belief is that government mandates are never going to be effective unless there is a zero tolerance approach to enforcement. We can argue all we want about whether or not a mandated measure is effective but the argument has absolutely no merit unless the mandated measures are implemented completely and then the resulting data proves them effective or ineffective. If we are not following the mandates, there is no way to prove, one way or another, the validity of the strategy. Unfortunately for the minority who absolutely refuse to comply with any mandate unless they are not personally inconvenienced by it, they can keep fueling this pandemic indefinitely and continue to argue that the mandates are not effective despite the fact that it is their personal actions that are guaranteeing the failure of any mandate.

We will never be at the point where we can rely upon everyone to pull together in a unified, logical strategy. To be clear, when I say logical, I am talking about strategies based upon science and common sense, not strategies based upon emotions. Politics, personal agendas, and illogical paradigms will continue to divide us and continue to be used to promote personal benefit over what is best for our community and society as a whole.

No leadership or strategy is going to benefit everyone equally. Compromise is the only way we can progress together. Unfortunately for the privileged few, compromise tends not to be in their vocabulary.

We are letting politicians decide medical strategies. We are ignoring healthcare professionals and doing our own “research” on the internet. This is why we have entered the third year of a global pandemic with no end in sight.

“Make sure your worst enemy is not living between your own two ears...”  ― Nitya Prakash (b. 1988)

The Dickens Process

I met with one of my mentors, Tom Callos, a couple of weeks ago and he introduced me to the ‘Dickens Process’ that he was introduced to by Tony Robbins.

The Dickens Process exercise drives its name from the Charles Dickens novel "A Christmas Carol" in which Scrooge is visited by ghosts showing him his past, present, and future. By following this strategy of analyzing your limiting beliefs across each tense (past, present, and future), we can see what the actual cost of our beliefs is by looking at each belief in detail to answer the following questions:

• What has each belief cost me and the people I care about in the past?

• What has each belief cost me and the people I care about in the present?

• What will each belief cost me and the people I care about in the future?

When we ask ourselves those three questions, it is important to answer completely by hearing the answer, seeing the answer, and feeling the answer. We must illicit not only a logical response, but an emotional one as well.

By dwelling upon the consequences of our limiting beliefs, we begin laying the foundation required to create new beliefs to replace them. Sometimes it is as simple as reframing the narratives of our beliefs so they are no longer limiting our growth.

“One of my top three limiting beliefs was ‘I’m not hardwired for happiness,’ which I replaced with ‘happiness is my natural state.’” — Tim Ferris’s (b. 1977)

Less is More

I read an interesting article from Harvard professor Arthur Brooks about the secret to happiness that really resonated with me. He refers to the “hedonic treadmill” which is our tendency to add things when we consider what it would take to improve our lives. Our first impulse is to think that we would be happier if our career was going better or if we could take a trip or even make a large purchase. The problem with this approach is that it tends to backfire.



According to Brooks: “Having goals is a great way to accomplish the kinds of big ambitions that give life meaning. No one says waiting around on the couch for the universe to do what it will with you is the route to fulfillment. But a mountain of research shows that when you reach your goals, they're likely to only bring you momentary joy. After a brief high, dissatisfaction creeps in and we start to crave the next thing on the list.”

This is what psychologists call the “hedonic treadmill”. We all have experienced this — we fantasize about a better television, a better job, a glamorous vacations, but as soon as we get it we start coveting even better TV’s , jobs, and vacations. Our quest for more is insatiable and it rarely results in more happiness. 



Brooks has a simple solution to this perpetual problem - a reverse bucket list. He describes exactly what he means by the term.

“Each year on my birthday, I list my wants and attachments--the stuff that fits under Thomas Aquinas's categories of money, power, pleasure, and honor. I try to be completely honest. I don't list stuff I would actually hate and never choose, like a sailboat or a vacation house. Rather, I go to my weaknesses, most of which--I'm embarrassed to admit--involve the admiration of others for my work," he writes.



Next he imagines what his life would be in five years if he were to be truly happy - if he were living up to his values and experiencing a sense of psychological peace. The final step is to compare the two lists side by side. Would those things he craves actually bring him closer to his vision of the good life? Basically he asks if an item is on his bucket list because it lines up with his deepest desires and values or if it there to impress someone else or feed an unquenchable need for validation. If it is the former, it goes on his bucket list. If it is the latter, it goes on his reverse bucket list. 



Almost always, less is more.



“I’ve learned that minimalism is not about what you own, it’s about why you own it.” - Brian Gardner 

2022

I can remember Y2K like it was yesterday. I remember as a kid thinking that I was going to be old when 1999 flips over to 2000. Here we are twenty two years later. Life is shorter than we think.

2022 will mark the fourth year of COVID-19. No travel, limited socialization. During the pandemic I have only seen my parents a handful of times and my father had to die alone earlier this year. I have watched my 85 year old aunt’s mobility decrease drastically because she has not had access to her aquacise class for the duration. Lives have been put on hold but life never stops evolving and we do not stop aging.

For me the pandemic has brought a lot of positive change to my life. I have had to become more mindful with my business and my daily routine. This mindfulness has eliminated substantial mediocrity from my life - mediocrity that I was not aware existed. I see a lot of people who have put their lives on hold while the pandemic runs its course. Mindfulness has made me aware that, because of mediocrity, a lot of my life was on hold. I am grateful that the pandemic woke me up and reminded me to live.

Life is short. Live always.

“Life is short and we have never too much time for gladdening the hearts of those who are traveling the dark journey with us. Oh be swift to love, make haste to be kind.” - Henri Frederic Amiel (1821 - 1881)

Thanksgiving

As gratitude becomes more entrenched within my daily life, Thanksgiving Day itself subsequently becomes less poignant for me. In fact, every moment of every day is a moment of thanksgiving.

Making gratitude a part of my daily meditation practice has brought a lot of positivity and happiness into my life. Every day is a positive mindful experience helping me improve myself and eliminate stress. Whether it is improving and repairing relationships that are important to me or eliminating relationships that are toxic for me, each day I spend in mindfulness improves my situation and my outlook.

Today is the first Thanksgiving that I have experienced in a world of which my dad is no longer a part. I am grateful that despite my fears, my greatest memories of my father are of how he lived and not of his final years and how he died.

Family, friends, conflicts, mistakes, successes, and failures all have conspired together to bring me to where I am right here and right now. This present moment is filled with gratitude. Thanksgiving.

 

“Because you are alive, everything is possible.” - Thich Nhat Hanh (b. 1926)

Truth and Reconciliation

September 30th marks the first National Day forTruth and Reconciliation in Canada. I believe this is an important initiative to help bring awareness and understanding of what our indigenous citizens have unjustly endured by the hands of our nation.

Racism and bigotry prevails in our society and in recent years it has even become more socially acceptable to publicly support and spread bigoted ideas and actions. September 30th is an opportunity to reverse this trend. It is an important day for reflection and, hopefully, reconciliation.

I am someone who believes that one of our greatest strengths as a nation is our diversity. Our diversity brings creativity and opportunity to every problem and situation. Pre-conceived ideas and beliefs only limit what we are capable of achieving.

Silent River Kung Fu is observing Truth and Reconciliation Day on September 30th and will not be conducting any formal classes on this day. Our students are all encouraged to reflect upon the legacy of residential schools and the systemic racism that still infects our society. In light of the current healthcare crisis in this province, we will not be officially participating in any public events and we are encouraging our students to remain isolated and safe.

“We have been investing in our collective ignorance, and we have to stop." — Marie Wilson

Simplicity

A friend queried me this week concerning my ongoing goal to reduce the number of my possessions to one hundred. He pointed out that I first publicly declared this goal back in 2013 and as he had predicted, I had failed. Nothing could be further from the truth. While after eight years I still have not achieved my goal but that does not mean the quest does not continue.

Minimalistic living is a choice and it is a process. Like mastery, it is not a destination. It is not about the actual number of possessions I own, it is about living mindfully and not consuming thoughtlessly. I continue to reduce my possessions but even more importantly, I no longer recklessly accumulate.

The books I read are either borrowed from the library or they are electronic. The music I listen to is streamed. My money goes toward experiences, not things. Yes my garage still has two motorcycles in it but it stores less and less every year.

Living simply allows me to simply live. I do not have to work to pay off debt. I do not have to work to earn money to support and maintain my trinkets. Each day is about maximizing my awareness of the present moment and understanding that the source of my happiness is in how I spend my time, not how I spend my money.

“The best things in life are not things.” - Unkown

Why

Why do we do anything? Have we forgotten? We have been conditioned to commodify everything so much that we forget why we did it in the first place. We work hard to earn money to improve the quality of our lives. Yet more often than not we forget about the quality of life we were striving for and only focus on acquiring more and more money, even sacrificing the quality of our life to to earn more than we need.

If we do not consistently remind ourselves of why we are doing what we are doing, our attitude will no longer align with our goals. Education becomes commodified to become about the degree instead of the knowledge that the degree represents. In kung fu, forms practice devolves into a hoop to jump through in order to earn another promotion as opposed to being about personal mastery.

Where am I? What am I doing? Two important questions that cut through the haze of distraction and remind us of why we do what we do.

“Fact: If standard of living is your number one objective, quality of life almost never improves. But if quality of life is your number one objective, standard of living invariably improves.” - Zig Ziglar (1926 - 2012)

Wants and Needs

My province is getting ready to move into the next phase of our reopening. There have been so many phases of relaunch that we have passed through - both forward and backward that I don’t even keep track of what each phase means.  There has not been much logic behind our province’s decisions. Our relaunch phases always come too soon and our shutdown phases always come too late. While I am an advocate of putting the greater good of the public’s health first, I have to acknowledge that how our provincial government is handling things has made a lot of the public health measures in place ineffective. 

Like everyone else in a democracy,  I am subject to the will of the majority. Yes, our Premier publicly lied and cheated to win his party’s leadership but the majority of my fellow citizens wanted him to lead our province and so I accept that. That is how a democracy works. I may have not voted for him but he is my Premier and I am going to participate in my community by providing leadership and support where it is needed. 

The problem that I see us facing as a community is our inability to distinguish between wants and needs. We all want to make our mortgage payments while some of us need a ventilator. When our hospitals are full and we are running out of ventilators to help deal with the impact of the pandemic, the ability to logically differentiate between wants and needs is paramount. While it is not ideal to have a bank foreclose on my house, it is infinitely better than having my neighbour’s child die because he succumbed to COVID-19. 

The good of the whole has to be the priority of a community. Everyone understands that. Unfortunately we have all been conditioned to confuse wants and needs when it comes to the economy. Our economic policies have never been socially or environmentally sustainable yet we continue to support this self-destructive trajectory. As we fight with each other and continue to prolong this pandemic through our actions, this has never been as clearly highlighted as it is now.

“Democracy is not simply a license to indulge individual whims and proclivities. It is also holding oneself accountable to some reasonable degree for the conditions of peace and chaos that impact the lives of those who inhabit one’s beloved extended community.” - Aberjhani (b. 1957)  

Together

We’re well over a year into a pandemic that probably has another year to go before it is behind us. Who knows, it could be longer. Some countries like New Zealand have already put most of this pandemic behind them but we’re still pushing toward a peak. I don’t understand the reluctance that people have with complying with health orders, especially those who are so concerned about the economy. As New Zealand has proven, following common sense, and enforcing that common sense when needed, gets the economy back on track a lot sooner than our everyman for himself approach that is killing most business in this province through a death of a thousand cuts. 

I get the argument about civil rights and freedoms but some of us are sounding like spoiled teenagers. Freedom comes with responsibility. It has never been about doing whatever you want when you want. It is about earning the freedom we have by contributing to your community and accepting the responsibility that comes with all those freedoms you hold dear. Nothing is for free, everything is earned. 

Yes, we have incompetent politicians making stupid mistakes that is costing us lives and livelihoods. We put those politicians into power and so rather than fighting them, it would be infinitely better if we tried to help them. Pulling together is still the best way to overcome any adversity. We can fight any problem better when we are not always fighting ourselves. 

“I think the best of us comes when we are working together collectively. And it doesn't mean that we can't disagree. We've got to learn, as Dad taught us, to disagree without being disagreeable.” - Martin Luther King III (b. 1957) 

Needs and Wants

As I age I can recognize the difference between needs and wants. When I was younger and chasing my nest egg, I thought that was a need. I recognize now it was a want. Needs make me happy. Wants make me think they will make me happy.

I know I would be much more happy today if I would have understood the difference between my needs and my wants at an earlier age. It is amazing how time and experience gives one clarity.

I do not need much. This is reflected by how I choose to live my life. I am not accumulating a lot of stuff. In fact, I continue to reduce my possessions every year. Simply living is a matter of living simply. I no longer chase, I experience.

“While they have not got their aims, their anxiety is how to get them. When they have got them, their anxiety is lest they should lose them.” - Confucius (551 - 479 BC)

It's Now

My mindfulness practice has me in a consistent cycle of evaluation and simplification. Without my practice, mediocrity has a way of permeating into my life unnoticed; covertly complicating what should be simple.  Without habitual reflection, my reflex becomes reaction. 

Life is simple, or at least it should be simple. Things get complicated when I forget what is important. Where I live is not important; how I live is.  What I want is not important; why I want it is. My future is affected by what I do today but tomorrow is not guaranteed. The only real commodity is time and the only time I have, or will ever have, is right now. 

“Every thought you produce, anything you say, any action you do, it bears your signature.” - Thich Nhat Hanh (b. 1926) 

Life Meditation

The more you apply yourself to meditating/thinking/praying about the unavoidable fact of death, the easier it is to embrace it.

The yin yang is a wonderful tool that I use in every difficult situation. There is no life without death. By accepting life, you MUST accept death. Through our reluctance to accept death, we are not accepting life to its fullest.

Everyone has a different approach to coping with the concept of death. Some gravitate to the concept of eternal life after death in one form or another. What most do not realize though is that their strategy may help them put the concept of death into a format that allows them to ignore it, but sometimes it does not help them to truly appreciate and experience the life they have left.

For me mindfulness is the best way for me to accept the realities of death and therefore maximize the life I have remaining available to me. Living in the present moment is the only way to truly experience life. Accepting death allows me to appreciate life and motivates me to stay mindful of what I am experiencing and how I choose to experience it. I am not locked in my mind worrying about something that I cannot control, nor am I agonizing about missed opportunities or mistakes of my past. There is just now and I do my best to celebrate every moment with gratitude.


“I went to the woods because I wished to live deliberately, to front only the essential facts of life, and see if I could not learn what it had to teach, and not, when I came to die, discover that I had not lived.” — Henry David Thoreau (1817 - 1862)

Death Meditation

From the moment I was conceived, I have been on the path of death. The inevitability of age, sickness, and death are guaranteed for everyone. It matters not what your income is. These certainties are independent of your religion, your race, or your status. There is peace to be found in this truth yet we spend a large portion of the finite time we have in this life running from this reality.

It is in my nature to grow old. It is in my nature to get sick. It is in my nature to die. Nothing is as liberating as acknowledging my unavoidable nature. By embracing death, I am embracing life to the fullest. Perhaps that is why I am so at peace when I ride a motorcycle. I am keenly aware of the danger and risk associated with the activity so I am equally more aware of living and being alive — here and now.

“I shall not die of a cold. I shall die of having lived.” - Willa Cather (1873 - 1947)