A week passes, and then another. Plans are made, circumstances change, responsibilities compete with commitments, and past mistakes come home to roost. For the first time in my life I have questioned my ability to compartmentalize and push my way through the pressure.I have always thought myself as independent, a loner. I’m shy, painfully quiet, and have never really reached out for help because I have never doubted my ability to persevere alone. Things have happened these past few months and have come to a head this week that have shaken my perception of myself.
I now realize that I do depend on others. It’s funny how one does not notice these things until it is too late. Take one important individual out of the intricate cogs of my life and the entire mechanism of my balanced existence begins to breakdown. This is what happens when the foundation of your equilibrium is based upon a fallacy.
So what does one do when one finds oneself in such a situation? If you’re me you immediately set out to consolidate your independence by contracting your world into something more safe and manageable. That is if you are the old me. The new me, the evolved me, has learned to stop, take a deep breath, and reflect as opposed to react. The new me realizes that the problem is not my dependence on others but rather my ignorance of the deep dependence that has always existed.
I have learned the importance of breathing in the handling of stress. When I stop to breathe, the decisions I make tend to be more reflective than reactive thus allowing me to grow and evolve. I have learned a lot from this UBBT directive writing project. I have learned so much about myself and more than anything I realize I am not as humble as I thought I was nor am I as humble as I should be. I am not alone, I depend on others and the fact that they have been quietly helping me with such little fanfare that I did not even notice what an important roll they played in my life, shows that they are truly the humble ones. As long as I keep my wits about me, breathe in, breath out, this is a lesson that I will not soon forget.
“There is no such thing as a self-made man. You will reach your goals only with the help of others.” - George Shinn (b. 1941)
2 comments:
Master Brinker you have given so much to me in the last ten years without asking for anything back. I hope that I am one of the people you can lean on for anything you might need. I like to think I am a good listener....
Linda
Master Brinker I have discovered that each persons world is a spider web of relationships and dependencies. It can be tough realizing you are not the rock but part of a frail and delicate looking web. Its kind of scary because a spider web does not look very strong, but it is. One part can be damaged or removed and yet the web remains. It is constantly under repair and development, always evolving. Take joy in the unique beauty of each web and offer graditude to the industrious spider who never seems to rest.
Sifu T. Beckett
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