Finding the Lesson

As I continue to mature, I recognize more and more the challenges created by my own ego. Ego-based decisions are not always easy to identify and they tend to undermine goals rather than advance them.

I have found that two questions usually suffice to separate ego from logical conversational decisions:
• Is my goal to learn or is it to prove myself to be correct?
• How are my words serving my goal?

It is amazing how much you learn when you are not too busy trying to be right. More often than not the best lessons in life are learned from those who do not agree with you.

“Receive without pride, let go without attachment.” - Marcus Aurelius (121 - 180)

Dad

Sunday was Fathers Day but of course with COVID-19 a simple visit is not so simple. My dad has been very isolated since the pandemic began in March. Up to a few weeks ago, visits were not allowed in his care facility so his only connection to his family has been maintained through telephone conversations. Not ideal for a man who is hard of hearing and struggling with his memory.

My visit with dad on Saturday was better than a telephone conversation but only slightly less frustrating. Having to conduct the visit outside while wearing a mask and maintaining two metres distance, made communication less than ideal. We had enough troubles ourselves understanding our muffled voices through the masks but his situation was that much worse without being able to see our faces and being even further away.

I haven’t hugged my dad for over three months. With the pandemic still soldiering on, I am not sure if it is even going to be possible again before his time here with me is over. I’m grateful to have had another Father’s Day with him even though it was less than ideal.

“Lately all my friends are worried they’re turning into their fathers. I’m worried I’m not.” - Dan Zezinho

Fear

A lot of people make decisions based upon fear. Their careers, their recreation, their politics are determined by their fears. Fear of what would happen if they went out of their comfort zone and fear of where we would end up if the status quo were not maintained.

The problem with fear is that it can be all consuming and illogical at the same time. Standing frozen at the entrance of your bedroom because you can see a snake waiting for you in the dimly lit room will dominate your thoughts and your actions until the fear is dealt with. It is not as if you can just wander back into the living room and forget that there is a snake in your bedroom. You are not going to eat, go to work, and most definitely you are not going to sleep. Your fear is in control.

Having your friend save the day by turning on your bedroom light to show you that what you thought was a snake was actually your neck tie hanging on the back of a chair brings tremendous relief - for now. The irrational thinking may be gone but the fear that caused the irrational thinking remains along with the consequences of the irrational thinking.

It is not always easy to think things through, especially when your thoughts and decisions are controlled by your fear. Some fears are well earned through empirical experience but many fears we carry were placed upon our shoulders by societal inertia and cultural paradigms.

Clearly we do not live in a utopian state. There is no possible way we can cater to everyone’s fears, but if we take the time to illuminate the issues that affect the most vulnerable members of our society, fear-based reactions can be replaced by logical solutions.

 “We can easily forgive a child who is afraid of the dark; the real tragedy of life is when men are afraid of the light.” - Plato (427 BC - 347 BC)

Danger Zone = Comfort Zone

Yesterday marked our first anti-virus edition of our Tiger Challenge tournament. Tournaments tend to be a high anxiety event for many competitors so they are a wonderful tool to help people normalize stepping out of their comfort zone. This year’s version of the tournament may have been online but it was no less anxiety-inducing nevertheless.

I am always amazed at how different we all are when it comes to performance anxiety. While everyone stepped up and performed amazingly well during an obvious stressful situation, some were able to achieve levels that I cannot imagine myself being capable of.

My personal highlight of the day was judging the virtual fight choreography and creative karaoke forms divisions. I know Silent River Kung Fu is the first martial arts school in history to ever have a student compete in a forms competition while singing “I wish I was an Oscar Meyer wiener” while another performed while singing a rendition of  “Danger Zone” that featured what appeared to be a Stratocaster-equipped guitar solo. Yes, this really happened. You can’t make this stuff up.

“We have a normal. As you move outside of your comfort zone, what was once the unknown and frightening becomes your new normal.” - Robin S. Sharma (b. 1964)

Mastery and Perfection

The pursuit of mastery is unforgiving and relentless and I suspect that is why it is a most rewarding and fulfilling undertaking. Apply mastery in one area and it will invariably permeate into other aspects of your life. It is the gift that keeps on giving.

Mastery is not something that can be negotiated or compromised. It is a binary proposition. Excuses have no effect in persuading mastery to give ground. Either you are on the path or you are not.

Perfection may sound similar to mastery but it is not the same thing. Mastery is a journey, perfection is a destination. So many students of mastery overlook that fact and find themselves pursuing something that is impossible. Perfection is a great motivator to keep one on the path but if success is only measured by the end result, failure will always prevail. Only in the pursuit of mastery will we ever approach perfection but perfection implies stasis which is impossible. Everything is changing, especially ourselves.

Perfection is a goal, not a state. Mastery is a journey, not a destination.

“Perfection is not attainable, but if we chase perfection we can catch excellence.” - Vince Lombardi (1913 - 1970)

Covid-19 State of Affairs

We are now in phase one of the provincial relaunch after the pandemic shutdown. This relaunch is happening at a time when we are still at peak infection rate so there are some important things we all must remember:

• Our infection rate is half of that of Sweden so our response to the pandemic is working for us and saving lives. Regardless, neither Sweden or Canada has come close to herd immunity levels.
• Without herd immunity or a vaccine, flattening of our infection curve is 100% due to the preventative measures we have undertaken. Social isolation is working to slow the spread but now that we are implementing our relaunch strategy, it is even more important that we adhere to the safety guidelines that have got us to this point. 
• Wearing a mask, limiting travel, and practicing social distancing is not about fear, it is about personal responsibility and managing risk. 
• This pandemic will have a second wave of infection. The intensity of this second wave will directly determine whether or not another shutdown will have to take place. Remember, there are a limited number of ventilators available in our system and you do not want your loved ones to be at the losing end of the ventilator lottery if demand exceeds supply. Be smart and make sure we all do not all get infected at the same time. Respect the virus. 
• Your lifestyle, rights, and freedoms are not for free. Each comes with responsibility. Have gratitude for what you have and take your responsibilities seriously. 

What we can learn from San Francisco's Spanish Flu experience in 1918

Responsibility

As a business owner of a business that has had to shut it doors because of COVID-19, it can get frustrating when you see people flaunting going against the protocols that are in place to stop the spread of the virus. Either the virus miraculously stops spreading or we are going to have to follow through with the proper guidelines to help stem the pandemic.

It is not conjecture - social distancing and limiting travel are tried and proven methods to combat a pandemic. Check out San Francisco’s and Philadelphia’s responses to the Spanish flu. If you want this pandemic behind you, follow the government’s guidelines as your absolute minimum approach.

Yes I know you are being cautious and I know you are not stupid. I am here reminding you that not everyone is as smart as you. Those who are not up to your IQ may be inspired to copy you breaking protocol without taking all the precautions you are taking. More deaths can be prevented if the smart people like you step up and take responsibility for showing some leadership by setting a pandemic-safe example for the idiots.

 “This was unexpected. … And it hit the world. And we’re prepared, and we’re doing a great job with it. And it will go away. Just stay calm. It will go away.” - Donald Trump (b. 1946)