Life

I have three direct family members currently isolating after testing positive for COVID. It is frustrating that after two years of us sacrificing and being careful, we end up with COVID in our family at this late stage of the pandemic. All of this is happening because my daughter’s boss decided to go to work anyway despite testing positive for COVID. After my daughter was unknowingly exposed for two and half days, she was finally informed that she was working side by side with someone infected. Despite leaving work and immediately isolating, she tested positive two days later. In the meantime she had already unknowingly infected her sibling and her grandfather.

When I look at Alberta’s COVID stats, we currently have over 12,000 people infected with the virus per 100,000 citizens. That means 12% of Albertans currently have COVID. That number does not include my three family members and everyone else who is quietly battling COVID at home. Nor does that number include the people who know they have COVID and are actively infecting everyone around them because they refuse to isolate themselves. I suspect the reported cases of COVID in this province only represents a fraction of the actual current cases.

With infection numbers like that and the mask mandate rescinded, there is little chance of avoiding COVID.

Know Thyself

Knowing ourselves is no easy task. We spend an inordinate amount of time distracting ourselves from the reality of our situations. We work hard to suppress facing our true realities so intently that we make it impossible to reflect before we react.

Can we change who we are? Not likely. Who we are has been defined by nature and nurture. That is a lot of inertia to overcome.

The thing we can change is the way that we deal with who we are. Before we can begin to change the way that we deal with who we are, we must first know who we are.

“Know yourself to improve yourself” - Auguste Comte (1798 - 1857)

The Dickens Process

I met with one of my mentors, Tom Callos, a couple of weeks ago and he introduced me to the ‘Dickens Process’ that he was introduced to by Tony Robbins.

The Dickens Process exercise drives its name from the Charles Dickens novel "A Christmas Carol" in which Scrooge is visited by ghosts showing him his past, present, and future. By following this strategy of analyzing your limiting beliefs across each tense (past, present, and future), we can see what the actual cost of our beliefs is by looking at each belief in detail to answer the following questions:

• What has each belief cost me and the people I care about in the past?

• What has each belief cost me and the people I care about in the present?

• What will each belief cost me and the people I care about in the future?

When we ask ourselves those three questions, it is important to answer completely by hearing the answer, seeing the answer, and feeling the answer. We must illicit not only a logical response, but an emotional one as well.

By dwelling upon the consequences of our limiting beliefs, we begin laying the foundation required to create new beliefs to replace them. Sometimes it is as simple as reframing the narratives of our beliefs so they are no longer limiting our growth.

“One of my top three limiting beliefs was ‘I’m not hardwired for happiness,’ which I replaced with ‘happiness is my natural state.’” — Tim Ferris’s (b. 1977)

Predetermined Mediocrity

Sometimes we make decisions that cater to what we want rather than what we need. A lot of those decisions are made long before we realize it. We will take time to acquire data that will support these decisions so that we can justify making the decision we want, even when we know it is not what we need. 

• Work today wiped me out so it is not a good idea to go to the gym.

• I don’t have time to cook so fast food it is.

• I am too busy to train consistently so kung fu is not in the cards.

There are an almost infinite number of reasons to make any decision. Hence why it is important to always differentiate between wants and needs. We tend to gravitate to mediocrity even though our goal is mastery. We all know what is good for us but we spend an awful lot of time convincing ourselves that the easy way - what we want, is actually what we need.

Mediocrity is easy. So easy that most of us gravitate to it so seamlessly that we don’t even realize it. The thing is though, mastery is almost as easy. It is just a matter of maintaining clarity and making the right decisions.

“Never cut a tree down in the wintertime. Never make a negative decision in the low time. Never make your most important decisions when you are in your worst moods. Wait. Be patient. The storm will pass. The spring will come.” — Robert H. Schuller (1926 - 2015)

Less is More

I read an interesting article from Harvard professor Arthur Brooks about the secret to happiness that really resonated with me. He refers to the “hedonic treadmill” which is our tendency to add things when we consider what it would take to improve our lives. Our first impulse is to think that we would be happier if our career was going better or if we could take a trip or even make a large purchase. The problem with this approach is that it tends to backfire.



According to Brooks: “Having goals is a great way to accomplish the kinds of big ambitions that give life meaning. No one says waiting around on the couch for the universe to do what it will with you is the route to fulfillment. But a mountain of research shows that when you reach your goals, they're likely to only bring you momentary joy. After a brief high, dissatisfaction creeps in and we start to crave the next thing on the list.”

This is what psychologists call the “hedonic treadmill”. We all have experienced this — we fantasize about a better television, a better job, a glamorous vacations, but as soon as we get it we start coveting even better TV’s , jobs, and vacations. Our quest for more is insatiable and it rarely results in more happiness. 



Brooks has a simple solution to this perpetual problem - a reverse bucket list. He describes exactly what he means by the term.

“Each year on my birthday, I list my wants and attachments--the stuff that fits under Thomas Aquinas's categories of money, power, pleasure, and honor. I try to be completely honest. I don't list stuff I would actually hate and never choose, like a sailboat or a vacation house. Rather, I go to my weaknesses, most of which--I'm embarrassed to admit--involve the admiration of others for my work," he writes.



Next he imagines what his life would be in five years if he were to be truly happy - if he were living up to his values and experiencing a sense of psychological peace. The final step is to compare the two lists side by side. Would those things he craves actually bring him closer to his vision of the good life? Basically he asks if an item is on his bucket list because it lines up with his deepest desires and values or if it there to impress someone else or feed an unquenchable need for validation. If it is the former, it goes on his bucket list. If it is the latter, it goes on his reverse bucket list. 



Almost always, less is more.



“I’ve learned that minimalism is not about what you own, it’s about why you own it.” - Brian Gardner 

Investing in Karma

Everyone makes mistakes. Mistakes are an inevitable byproduct of effort and growth. Some mistakes are stupid but if our intent is positive and pure, they are nevertheless honest.

The word Karma literally translates as action. Many believe that our actions are reciprocated so a positive action will return positivity. A negative action will return negativity. For many the concept of Karma is spiritual, almost magical. For me, Karma is just common sense.

Every action has a consequence. My action that intentionally causes harm will in turn cause harm to myself - if only for the guilt that accompanies such actions. Likewise kind actions produce ripples of kindness that continue to spread and multiply, eventually coming back to me.

I continually invest in Karma. I know my actions have consequences and I know those consequences affect the world that I am part of. I try to be the change I want to see in the world.

“How people treat you is their karma; how you react is yours.” - Wayne Dyer (1940 - 2015)

Year of the Tiger

Starting the lunar year with a banquet and the promotion of two students to the rank of black belt is the best way to begin the lunar year. Yes the banquet was only a virtual event for the second year in a row but it was inspirational nevertheless. The excitement that this brings is the best part of Chinese New Year and the busyness of hosting such an event is the worst. 

Of course a lot went wrong with such a technologically intense endeavour and those numerous glitches weigh on me. It is difficult to talk coherently when you are multi-tasking while putting out technical fires. The experience was not ideal but the frantic memories will serve as anchors to recall the positive experience of the event moving forward. 



Congratulations to Sifu Jackie Kohut and Sihing Kody Bjorkquist on earning your black belts. I am grateful that I was able to travel with the two of you on your mastery journeys these many years. You are an inspiration to me and everyone who has had the pleasure and honour to share the experience. 



“She who succeeds in gaining the mastery of the bicycle will gain the mastery of life.” — Susan B. Anthony (1820 - 1906)