Wu Wei

Wu wei is a concept of kung fu that I constantly remind myself to apply and this past year it has been especially challenging to keep it in front of me. The idea of non-striving (wu wei) is an elegant ideal that becomes easier if I keep myself in the moment. Staying in the moment I tend to just experience and go with the flow. There is much clarity to be found when I don’t have an overt agenda.

I find it ironic that a state of wu wei eludes me when I probably need it the most. When it comes to personal relationships I find it very difficult to let go when there is a conflict. I like to think that because I do not make close friends easily, I fight hard to keep these friends close even when it is evident that they are not of the same thinking. I also like to think that I hold myself 100% accountable for my situation so it is up to me to take the initiative in resolving my relationships. Those are both grounds I’d like to believe but I suspect the reason is far less altruistic. I have a feeling that my ego can’t deal with the fact that someone just does not value our relationship to the same degree as I do.

One thing I cannot deny or ignore is that the only guarantee in life is change. Everything is impermanent and I never forget that. I reflect upon this fact every day to help keep me grounded and stay in the moment. I recognize how I struggle to accept the impermanence of my relationships. I will only achieve a state of wu wei in personal conflict if I remove my ego and accept that the relationship has changed.

“The first step toward change is awareness. The second step is acceptance.” - Nathaniel Branden (b. 1930)