Interpretation vs. Intent

This week I was reminded of the the disconnect that can occur in communication when a person’s interpretation of something said is contrary to the message the speaker had intended to convey. There are many reasons why miscommunication occurs but I find almost all instances are instigated by an emotional response. Many times we hear what we want to hear and almost everything we take in is filtered by the paradigms we have constructed over the years, and our own self talk.

In communication, context is everything when considering intent. A solitary word has very precise definitions but once you put that word in a sentence with other words or a paragraph that defines the context, its relevance to the conversation changes. Stripping a word out of an entire conversation and ignoring the context in which the word was used will almost always distort the intent behind the word. Not to mention that the more ambiguous the word that is used, the more wiggle room there is for interpretation.

Anger management training is probably one of the most powerful tools a person can acquire to improve their communication skills. Not only does it teach you how to convey your thoughts in a non confrontational manner, but it also gives you the insights you need to open your mind to alternative interpretations of other people’s words and actions.

“The single biggest problem in communication is the illusion that it has taken place.” -George Bernard Shaw (1856 - 1950)

And the Monkey Flips the Switch

Once again the Alberta government is restructuring our healthcare delivery system. Their feast or famine approach to budgeting the provincial coffers continues to leave mayhem in their wake. By the time our healthcare system adjusts to the new corporate structure, the circumstances of the economy will have changed and so will their spending habits. This is why our healthcare system will never be as efficient or effective as it could be.

The US debate over healthcare reform has caused me to ponder. If you consider that the US public expenditure on healthcare is much higher per capita than most developed countries that have universal healthcare (Americans pay more in taxes devoted to medical care - not including insurance premiums, co-payments, fees, and other health care costs), it becomes disconcerting that the number of Americans that have zero healthcare coverage is fifty million - almost double the entire population of Canada.

What about the quality of healthcare? The arguments about timely access and current technologies seem to be invalid in light of the value the United States is getting for their healthcare expenditures. The US is one of the lowest ranked developed countries on measures of life expectancy, infant mortality, and reductions in amenable mortality (deaths from certain causes that should not occur in the presence of timely and effective healthcare).

So why is everyone so worked up about healthcare reform? I understand that a big part of this debate is that many are playing to the socialism paranoia response. But in light of all the public money that has been sunk into bailing out so many corporations and all the US government incentives rolled out to help people purchase cars and homes, I would expect a somewhat more tolerant palate toward the prospect of universal healthcare.

“The welfare of each is bound up in the welfare for all.” - Helen Keller (1880 - 1968)

Fat, I Ate Fat

I’m twenty four days into my vegetarian challenge, a challenge that I hope to make a permanent part of my lifestyle, and a complication has manifested. I couldn’t help notice that within the last two weeks I have lost some muscle mass in my upper body, arms, and shoulders. I had this same issue with my legs late last year and so of course I am a little concerned as to what may or may not be going on.

I figure there could be a couple of things at play. I have completed fifty thousand pushups over the past eight and a half months. Could it be I am not giving my muscles enough recovery time and thus am actually breaking down muscle rather than building it? Or could it be that with the increase in physical activity that comes with challenging the UBBT, my daily caloric intake may not be sufficient? My biggest concern is that maybe I am not taking in enough protein as a vegetarian and thus am not feeding my body what it needs to maintain my increased muscle mass. Or could it be something more sinister and systemic that is still lurking below the surface. With what happened with my legs earlier, a guy has to wonder.

Regardless of what this turns out to be, I have to admit that I feel the best I have in years. Sure my legs are giving me issues but my chronic shoulder problems have all but disappeared. My metabolism is such that I can think of a number and within a week my weight is right there. I have cleared up many bad habits that I didn’t even realize I had. It’s been a great year.

“Nothing will benefit human health and increase the chances for survival of life on Earth as much as the evolution to a vegetarian diet.” - Albert Einstein (1879 - 1955)

Interbeing

Friday was the first anniversary of Travis Panasiuk’s death. It took so long to put that event behind me and now I find that even though it has only been a year, it seems like he has been gone for ten. For weeks prior to this day, I agonized over whether or not it was appropriate to contact his family. There was no doubt that the day was going to be an emotional one for them. Would my interference make the pain worse or would they welcome my sentiments? Ultimately I decided not to impose myself and so I let the day pass without contacting his family directly, but my thoughts and prayers were with them.

I spent my Friday thinking about Travis and how much he continues to influence and inspire me. Travis’ passion for his kung fu was infectious and I have used his inspiration to fuel my drive as I push myself to new limits. It does bring a smile to my face when I realize that Travis continues to live on in all of us. The fourteen months that he was in my life’s sphere will always be a part of me. His influence is reflected in every student I teach and in every person they meet. Travis’s soul has become imprinted upon all he has met, he is a part of our collective DNA.

“They are not dead who live in lives they leave behind; In those whom they have blessed, they live a life again, And shall live, through the years, Eternal life, and grow each day more beautiful As time declares their good, Forgets the rest, and prove”
- Hugh Robert Orr

Franticness

Franticness. I watch a lot of franticness every week. People franticly trying to accomplish their tasks, people franticly trying to fit in. I know people who find it impossible to sit through a movie at home without needing to get up and do something in the middle of it, their minds trapped in a perpetual frantic commotion. Other people jump franticly from one experience to another, declaring each time that their latest experience is life altering and yet they never stop searching. So much franticness is applied to our lives in some sort of quest to build the life we wish to live that we tend to forget to actually live.

The fact is, everything is constantly changing and nothing is permanent. We will all be different people when we go to bed tonight than we were when we woke up this morning. Any notion to the contrary is a reflection of our own self esteem and arrogance. My decisions, my values, and my accomplishments are all based upon my experiences and influences, and thus every experience, no matter its magnitude, is relevant to who we are and who we will become.

May I have the wisdom to remain flexible in my views and recognize that truth is found in life, not dogma. If my humbleness is such that I recognize that others change as I do, I will become less judgmental, allowing me to listen and experience with an open heart, and become more receptive to the miracles life has to offer in the present moment.

“Present-moment living, getting in touch with your now, is at the heart of effective living. When you think about it, there really is no other moment you can live. Now is all there is, and the future is just another present moment to live when it arrives.” - Wayne Dyer (b. 1940)

I Am Project - In Training

I am currently in Estes Park, Colorado attending a mindfulness retreat under Thich Nhat Hanh. As with most things in life, nothing has gone as planned.

My first flirtation with disaster was when the airline misplaced my luggage. I didn’t think that was possible when you have a direct flight but it turns out it is. I say misplaced because their computer showed that both me and my luggage got off the same plane but my luggage somehow did not make its way up to the claim carousel. The airline’s lost luggage department could not contact the baggage department because no one was answering their pages or phone calls so I was stuck until an incredibly nice lady went through extraordinary measures to help me out. She said I was making her feel guilty for being so patient and respectful (acts of kindness are really paying off). She took the time to close her desk and make a trip “to the dungeon” as she described it, to look for my luggage. Thanks to a big cat name tag my daughter had put on my suitcase, my luggage was found amongst a conglomeration of other plain black suitcases caught in airport travel limbo.

It has been a lifelong dream of mine to spend at least six months studying Zen full time, but life is such that some things are destined to stay only dreams. The next best thing to studying Zen full time is to have the opportunity to attend an event like this with a Zen Master. I was obviously disappointed to learn upon my arrival that Thich Nhat Hanh had been hospitalized in Massachusetts with a lung infection and would not be able to attend this retreat. Yes I was disappointed yet things, it seems, always work out for me. I realize now that I came here for all the wrong reasons. If Thich Nhat Hanh had not become sick and had attended this event, his presence would have defined the event for me and I would have possibly missed out on one of the most significant opportunities of my life.

Anyone who has not felt the presence of God has not experienced walking meditation in complete silence with one thousand other people. I have never been a social person and crowds make me uncomfortable, yet here I am sharing an intensely personal experience with one thousand complete strangers and not only enjoying it, but relishing it. Alone with my thoughts, and concentrating on staying in the moment, I felt an incredible connection to everyone around me yet the only sound in the mountain air was that of our treading footsteps, the wind rustling through the trees, and the singing birds. Words and conversation would have only ruined the experience. Sometimes the best things in life happen in those moments of noble silence.

This experience has given me great hope for the future of mankind. I think often of how many of our great leaders are coming to the end of their lives and I wonder if there will be anyone ready to take their place when the time comes. Seeing Thich Nhat Hanh’s monastics in action this week, and sharing this whole experience with one thousand other like minded souls, leaves no doubt in my mind that our potential is strong.

“The miracle is not to walk on water. The miracle is to walk on the green earth, dwelling deeply into the present moment and feeling truly alive.” - Thich Nhat Hanh (b. 1926)

I am Project - Engaged

As I prepare for what is usually my busiest time of year, I have been spending some time reflecting upon my goals and progress.

It seems impossible that I am over half way through my Ultimate Black Belt Test. It seems like I just started and am still building momentum. My UBBT journey to date has been one big paradox. While there hasn’t been a minute of any day that has passed that I haven’t been totally engaged with my test and working toward my goals, I have not accomplished nearly what I had expected considering the sweat and effort I have been applying. I have to admit though, this has been the best year I have ever had for personal growth.

I have completed 42,105 pushups, 37,617 sit ups, and 888 acts of kindness, My other numbers reflect the struggle I have had with my leg issues. My BJJ mat time has been kept to only 15 hours and promises to stay at that number for the duration of my test. The knees just can’t take the strain of the grappling. My form and sparring have both also suffered from my ailment coming in at 233 reps and 144 rounds respectively while I have been able to only accumulate 634 kilometers of running/walking. However, I am thankful for the opportunity my ailment has provided me. I have adjusted my goals to reflect my leg limitation and have broadened my test’s scope to include many organizational goals as well. I am definitely getting a great return on my investment with the UBBT.

For the first time in a couple of decades, I feel able to concentrate on my own training. This spring I got to spend few days with Master McNeill learning some of his cane system. I learn a lot every time I get a chance to talk to him. I can’t believe how fortunate I am to have the opportunity to hang out with someone like Master Dave. I have been accepted to study under lion dance master Yiu Tai Tung in Hong Kong. My legs won’t allow me to begin this training for a few more months, inevitably after UBBT 6 ends, but I am really stoked about achieving this goal in 2010 or 2011. Next week I will be traveling to study with Zen Master Thich Nhat Hanh, one of my living heros. I am giddy in anticipation. What a year this has been so far!

“In the present circumstances, no one can afford to assume that someone else will solve their problems. Every individual has a responsibility to help guide our global family in the right direction. Good wishes are not sufficient; we must become actively engaged.” - Dali Lama (b. 1935)