Grief

Everyone obviously grieves differently. I don’t have a good handle on how I handle grief but I am starting to understand a bit better.

I thought I was very good at handling grief. So good in in fact that for a while I thought there might be something wrong with me. My ability to compartmentalize is borderline sociopathic. Or so I thought.

On the first anniversary of my father’s death, I am much more aware of how my grieving process is more complicated than I thought. I can tell my mental health is compromised and how I am dealing with his death, or not dealing with it, is spilling over into other areas of my life.

Yesterday I visited my dad’s gravesite for the first time since his funeral last year. What I had anticipated to be a healing process did not turn out the way I had hoped or envisioned. I find my grief to be even more profound today than it was before my pilgrimage.

Obviously I have a way to go before his passing is behind me. I miss you dad.

“There is no pain so great as the memory of joy in present grief.” - Aeschylus (525 - 456 BC)