Dad

Usually at this time of year I am thinking about beginnings. The lunar new year is always an opportunity to ground myself and reflect about what is important and then begin anew with a refreshed and refocused perspective. Perhaps it is because of the recent passing of Thich Nhat Hanh but this year I find myself thinking less about beginnings and more on endings.

My father passed away in April. His death was a long time coming and, ultimately, a welcome relief. His final years were not his best. Throughout my dad’s final journey, I found it difficult to maintain clarity on who he was when he was healthy. The COPD and dementia had taken over him so completely that I had resigned myself to the fact that the clear memories of his final battle were replacing my memories of who he was before his decline.

Nine months after his passing, I have less memories of my father’s decline and horrible final years and more of who he was throughout his life. Perhaps this welcome surprise is evidence that I am beginning anew for the year after all. I miss you dad but I recognize and am grateful for your continuation.

“We are the continuation of all our ancestors. Thanks to impermanence, we have a chance to transform our inheritance in a beautiful direction.” - Thich Nhat Hanh (1926 - 2022)