Control

I've been encouraging my daughter to change the words she chooses to use when describing a negative experience. I remind her that words can resonate forever and, at a minimum, colour her perceptions and her mood. The words we use mirror our thoughts and vice versa. Change one and the other will also change. It is much easier to change words than it is to change thoughts. I remind her that everyone has a choice in the words they use, they just need to exercise that control.

We are constantly bombarded with experiences and situations that evoke emotions that influence our responses. It is important to be reminded that while we cannot control what others say and do, we can control how we choose to interpret what they say and do. Taking it one step further we can control how we respond to what they say and do. This is the control I am talking about when I tell my students that a black belt needs to be a control freak. I want everything in my mind to be my responsibility. I want to decide what will and will not influence me. I am 100% accountable for my situation. If I do not like it, I have the power to change it.

“The best years of your life are the ones in which you decide your problems are your own. You do not blame them on your mother, the ecology, or the president. You realize that you control your own destiny.” - Albert Ellis (1913 - 2007)