Ego

“To the untrained eye ego-climbing and selfless climbing may appear identical. Both kinds of climbers place one foot in front of the other. Both breathe in and out at the same rate. Both stop when tired. Both go forward when rested. But what a difference! The ego-climber is like an instrument that’s out of adjustment. He puts his foot down an instant too soon or too late. He’s likely to miss a beautiful passage of sunlight through the trees. He goes on when the sloppiness of his step shows he’s tired. He rests at odd times. He looks up the trail trying to see what’s ahead even when he knows what’s ahead because he just looked a second before. He goes too fast or too slow for the conditions and when he talks his talk is forever about somewhere else, something else. He’s here but he’s not here. He rejects the here, he’s unhappy with it, wants to be farther up the trail but when he gets there will be just as unhappy because then it will be “here”. What he’s looking for, what he wants, is all around him, but he doesn’t want that because it is all around him. Every step’s an effort, both physically and spiritually, because he imagines his goal to be external and distant.” - Robert Pirsig, Zen and the Art of Motorcycle Maintenance.

When I look at any problem or mental limitation that I have, I see the presence of my ego interfering with my best intentions. This is even more true when it comes to resisting change. It is not as if I don’t spend a lot of time meditating about this concept. I know that change is inevitable. Despite this I still see my ego darting around with cunning and vigor, contaminating my thoughts and limiting my growth.

Aging is not an easy concept to banish one’s ego from weighing in. Cosmetic surgery, hair colouring, Botox — heck even the clothes we wear strongly indicate that our ego is alive and well. What we don’t always recognize is how much our ego can undermine our confidence and sabotage opportunities. Sometimes we are trying so hard to hold on to who we used to be that we cannot become all we could be.

Life is short. Proceed boldly.

“If one advances confidently in the direction of his dreams, and endeavors to live the life which he has imagined, he will meet with a success unexpected in common hours.” - Henry David Thoreau (1817 - 1862)

Black Belt

Every Chinese New Year I promote students who have earned their black belt. Their grading is, at a minimum, a year-long process and culminates with the promotion of the successful candidates at our annual Chinese New Year Banquet. The pandemic has forced this year’s banquet to the virtual realm but it has not prevented progress and success. I am proud to be promoting four students who have earned the rank of black belt.

What is a black belt? It is not the physical fabric that you tie around your waist. It represents so much more. Everyone who has earned the rank has had a hand in defining it. Earning a black belt is not only an honour, it is a responsibility.

Grand Master Olaf Simon, Grand Master Stan Lee, Grand Master Margitte Hilbig, Grand Master Mark Chan, Master Richard Shergold, Master Brian Macdonald,

Soke Dave McNeill, Master Tom Callos, Master Benjamin Ma — the list of people who have defined the black belt for me is endless. Each one has inspired me on my mastery journey.

I am responsible for endorsing four new people as black belts this year who will now have a hand in defining the black belt from this point on. I trust they will make all of my mentors proud.

“Life is not a brief candle. It is a splendid torch that must be made to burn as brightly as possible before it is handed on to the next generation.” - George Bernard Shaw (1856 - 1950)

Fatigue

I know a lot of people have struggled with the isolation of the pandemic and I understand how everyone’s different circumstances modulate the intensity of that isolation. Up to now I have not really felt anything beyond inconvenience from the pandemic.

These past couple of weeks things have changed. I am definitely ready to return to live lessons. Perhaps it is the change in weather or maybe it is the fact that I just had to conduct a four month black belt test virtually. More than likely it is due to the exhaustion of having to navigate my business through the quagmire this provincial government has created. We’ve been shutdown longer than anyone else and Kenney has now started opening things up while our hospitals are still over-crowded. This incredibly ill-advised approach is going to drag things out even longer. At this rate he is going to bankrupt any business that is not directly related to oil. Obviously I can’t say specifically why, but I am definitely seeing the signs of burnout.

I am not going to endure this sitting still. I am taking steps to address my burnout and I am using it as a catalyst to make positive changes in my life. My meditation practice is improving and expanding. My exercise regime is being modified. My diet is improving.

I am not sure how much longer I will be teaching virtually but I am confident that whatever I end up having endure, I am going to come out ahead from the experience.

“Challenges make you discover things about yourself that you never really knew.” - Cicely Tyson (1933 - 2021)

Shutdown

We have been shutdown from live classes for 6 months of the last 12 with no end in sight. The government continues to make questionable decisions by loosening restrictions at the same time when they have been forced to convert the Butterdome to a field hospital.

Weak leadership is prolonging the effects of the pandemic and every time the government gives in to pressure and prematurely reduces restrictions, it drives another nail in the coffin of many businesses that have been shut down longer than anyone else.

Judging by the topics of my last few blogs, the inept handling of the pandemic is on my mind a lot lately. Yes, my business and family are suffering because of the shutdown but that does not change my resolve to do what is right. If more restrictions are going to save lives then bring them on. I am not going to start lobbying this government to make yet another bonehead decision to serve my own interests over the public well-being.

“If things keep going down the path we're on, we're going to see costs fall disproportionately on the backs of some Albertans, while the premier and his government resist taking on costs on our behalf.” - Andrew Leach