Jennifer StJohn was a part of my life for such a short time but I considered her my mentor and friend. Her book ’Ten Zen’ arrived at my house with the most intricate wrapping I had ever seen. Not a single piece of tape was used but the book was wrapped tightly in plain brown paper with a single red ink stamp. It was then bound securely with twine, the elaborate pattern secured by a two knots. Her eye for detail and the intricate care she applied to her efforts were always evident in everything she touched.
Her last text message to me ended with a private joke: “Hey. Stay connected! I enjoy a little Fromage now and then . . .” When we had met in July we exchanged contact information. I had forgotten that my contact contained my title ‘ Grande Fromage of Silent River Kung Fu’ on it. She laughed pretty hard at that and had been using it ever since.
Jennifer was a Master of Tai Chi, she was the founder and chairman of The Fusion Group, and I am grateful for her generosity and the time she spent on me. A fitting tribute to her is the advice and observations she documented on her 60th birthday in 2012 as shared by The Fusion Group:
Mary and Jerry sat with the Doctor… “Don’t get too attached to little Jennifer!” he said, “She hasn’t got a chance of making it to six years old; certainly not to ten! Diabetes is deadly!” That statement permeated and stained our lives. Having now outlived the bastard, I feel a certain assurance in pointing out that Doctors, well-intentioned or not, aren’t always right. This journey hasn’t all been easy or comfortable, but at every moment, living was hands-down better than the alternative! Adversity may be a part of your path too. There may be a lesson in it.
#1 Become Relentlessly Positive! (Your firm intention will straighten the road and smooth the bumps.)
Take your teachers as, and where you find them. Lessons and teachers do not necessarily come when you call. They are everywhere though, if you look for them. Masters choose their own packaging; apart from your comfort or expectation. If you can only learn from someone in just the right body at just the right time and place, wearing just the right robe, from just the right tradition, you may pass by your teacher in the dusty agora.
“I sometimes believed six impossible things before lunch!” — Lewis Carroll (1832-1898)
Believe in something impossible; yourself and your endless success for example… Take risks and “Push It” to and beyond the edge. (This may from time to time, create a mess… So be it… Clean it up and enjoy the new attainment!)
Spend time with the people who make you better, who make you grow! Leave others where they stand.
The world can be a messy place. Lots of things not to like; to be concerned about… Yet, most of those things are far “Beyond Your Control.” Look here, focus on this instant! Brighten the corner where you are! Helping in the here and now, you’ll be surprised at both the opportunities and the far-reaching impact of local effort… Things you do or think here and now, “ripple out” and touch things on the far shore of there and then. You can’t see it immediately, but your intentions impact and shape the future — yours and everyone else’s.
There’s more than one kind of balance sheet for an enterprise. Don’t miss out on the meaning while you’re chasing the money.
Step away from Rightness! There’s always another perspective. Grow yourself a new and more encompassing perspective and laugh at the old you. Apologize! Change your mind… Ideas sufficient to a decade may be inadequate for an entire lifetime. Win/Win is better than Win/Loss.
“Water is fluid, soft, and yielding. But water will wear away rock, which is rigid and cannot yield. As a rule, whatever is fluid and soft will overcome whatever is rigid and hard. This is a wonderful paradox! Therefore, the ancients say: ‘Yield and overcome.’” ―Lao-Tzu (600 B.C.)
Be more like water… Accept, Forgive and Flow.
Life comes in matched sets of opposites: Yin/Yang… Respect, embrace, understand and build bridges to connect and unite these polar opposites. It’s not an “Either/Or” decision or an either/or world, no matter how it might appear to the contrary. Bridge-building results in the burst of energy, excitement and commitment which will provide you with the most significant power source in creation.
Acquiring lessons, experiences and people is more fun than acquiring stuff…Stuff is fine, but people… priceless! (Satisfying the “self” is not ultimately satisfying.)
Politics (and politicians) are unsatisfying. There are so many people and so many points of view. Getting into it, you may find yourself repelled by the sheer selfish, greedy, sneaky underhandedness of it all. It’s enough to make you swear off, or worse, become a sour armchair pundit… But if you fail to get involved, you may be surprised when they come for you in the night! “It’s not good, but it’s the best we have.” ―Winston Churchill (1874 – 1965)
Keep going into what scares you — into what hurts. Take the counsel of your fears; penetrate and conquer them! (See #1)
In the absence of a robust, personal spiritual practice, one is left with “Drive-Thru Religion,” whether Church, Science or Dogma — shortcuts — which are inherently less personally satisfying than honest, sustained, soulful individual enquiry. True religious practice is lived and demonstrated first in a personal way. The great spiritual traditions of India and China may have much to teach us in this. Do the individual work required to truly discover who and what you are.
“It’s very different because the Indians live as if they are their souls and Americans live as if they are their egos.” ― Ram Dass (1931 – )
Did I mention Love?!
There is evil in the world. Not just criminals. Could be a cheating spouse, a family member who hates you, a trusted but nefarious advisor, a political leader or a business person — even a long-term client. It can come at you head on; but more often from behind and where you do not expect it… Confronting evil is a test of fortitude. Because evil is sometimes obvious and as common as air. Goodness is conversely, rare, special and often unique. So, do not despair but become a connoisseur of goodness. Seek it out and celebrate it to give people a living example of how it ought to be. (Refer to #1)
Become aware of what you consume, and what you put out. Be scrupulous about what you consume and what you exude. Love and respect in; love and respect out!
We’re all unique and special … just like everyone else! So, treat everyone the same. Your spouse like your best client. Your children like your best friend. Your worst enemy like your respected uncle. Patient interested listening. Waiting for the moment of real connection.
Be endlessly interested — care more about how it is, than about how it appears…
Conclusion: Forgive that Doctor, the arrogant Lawyer, the self-impressed IT people and Holier than Thou Religious Practitioners, alone in their gilded Temples… Let them live, in all their purple humanity… Salute and embrace the heartbeat of living, breathing earthly divinity in everyone. There’s only one way to treat people: Love.
Life is the best possible gig! This very moment is a gift, a divine privilege! Soak it in, enjoy it and leave nothing in the cup!
Till I see you again…
• Jennifer StJohn (1952 - 2018)
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